Is love lost?

[princealbertofb]

-the sole mate stuff is bunk
-sex is going to happen, how is this a bad thing.

you think you must have a sole mate to have a relationship your wasting your time. this person you met and or your self are likely going to change in only a moderate amount of time. at best your spouse is your best friend but most important it is someone you love. you put your interest second to the needs of the relationship.

much has been said how gay men are promiscuous. but look at the saturation with straight sex. guys, we have some catching up to do.

Sorry to butt in, but here is a typical case where spelling does make all the difference. I'm taking you mean soul mate, as in someone who will share life with you on a physical and spiritual level... Someone's SOLE mate, would be their ONLY mate.
Often a SOUL mate is the SOLE mate too....
SOUL = spirit
SOLE = unique, only

[posterpicture]

hello,
I wouldnt say you are over the top... To be honest sex comes and goes and nothing materialises however some people find sex on the first night a committment to them as it feels so real and natural also if no sex for 2 months it could cause a partner to get fustrated and look elsewhere

Kindest regards

zeon x

Can't agree more. Some people including myself feel more connected with other people when we touch, cuddle, sleep or have sex with them.
But I learn the hard way from experience that it 's hard to find people who share the same thought.
For the majority, sex is sex. So what everyone should learn is to develop a strong heart that won't break by any one night stand.

[princealbertofb]

Expecting a one night stand to be love for life, isn't that a little bit naive????

[dlboy53]

I hear you on this one, seems like we hopeless romantics are the bottom of this barrel. With me I just wish I could talk to and be comforted when I'm down and when things are going great to share the job and happiness of success

[pellaz]

I'm still a virgin by choice. But even if it's stupidity, it's still my choice and am comfortable with it.

The reason why I decided to stay virgin until this very day is because I'm saving myself for the right guy.

Probably one day I will lose my virginity to Mr A but only to find out that Mr A is not the guy that I was looking for. Will I regret for losing my virginity? No.

I believe in finding true love. I'm a sucker for romance. Curse you, romance movies, songs and novels!

you set relationship theory back 150 years.

i think its important to expose ones self to as much in life as possible. it might be painful but in the end if you choose a husband he will be a profound choice.

myself; i lived a way to narrow life for way too long.

[Blake1122]

you set relationship theory back 150 years.

That's your opinion. We all are living our own lives and on our own path so what might be good for you might be bad for him. Or what might be bad for you could be good for him. So if he feels that's the way he wants to live his life and hes happy then hes doing what hes supposed to in his life and it feels right to him.:biggrin:

[princealbertofb]

What Jay is basically saying is that he's not ready yet to get intimate with someone. As it's a very private matter, I don't see how anyone can judge, whether it's the path to take or not. It's his path for the moment. As long as nothing forces him into abandoning his inner sanctum, I don't see why he should. There will come a day when it will seem appropriate, I'm sure. Good luck, Jay.

[pellaz]

As it's a very private matter, I don't see how anyone can judge, whether it's the path to take or not.

obviously not too private, he posted it above. and yes how it is life to do with it as he wishes.

[azulai]

Hi, Blake.

The problem is my friends tell me I'm a prude or i need to lighten up. I just want to take my time and get to know the person and feel if we have a connection. I can't put myself out there to have sex with every guy that comes a long after just two weeks of knowing him or a week. It could even be months before i may sleep with someone. So am I a little over the top?

I don't think you are over the top. I think it's important to know yourself and to be honest about your needs. I knew I was too emotional and couldn't handle sex without love. And, I didn't really care what anyone else thought about my "prudishness." It's my body, my heart and my emotional well-being. Other people can do what they want and just call it sex but I can't.

Funny thing is, I did meet someone very similar. I was very blunt from the start because I didn't want to lead someone on and I didn't know if I wanted to be bothered with mind games/dating. Well, to make a long story short, we did take things slow, built up a friendship, and I don't regret for a minute that we didn't rush to the finish line. I think my relationship is very peaceful and stronger because of this. And, honestly, slowly discovering someone is pretty exciting.

So, don't think it can't happen. If you feel you need time, you take your time. If the person doesn't want to hang around and be patient with you, I sincerely doubt if they have the fortitude to hang around if things got tough. So, don't allow others to make you feel bad or that you are "prudish;" do what you know in your heart is right for you. I wish you happiness!

[Drew]

I hear you, brony. Right now, I wish beyond anything that I could be cuddling with a great guy on my couch while watching the rain go by, not uttering a word (because none need to be spoken). I'd much rather have this than sex right now. I was going to post something similar to this thread but you beat me to it, and am actually glad; it makes me realize I'm not alone in feeling this way! I'm tired of the over-sexed culture we gay men find ourselves mired in. I find it sucks the joy out of sex and replaces it with a quick-fix mentally that's dull and tasteless. I've had decent sex up to this point in my life, but I'm still waiting for the amazing, life-expanding kind. I've often suspected it comes from a place of great love and affection,and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one waiting for it.