Is love lost?

[oldster]

ok i guess i am that way too but maby a little or a few miles over the top
when i med the man of my dreams it was not because he had a perfect body
in fact he was a para paglic but i loved in sperit and his independance he had got a job managing a small trailer park and you would see him craweling on roofs going up ladders on his crutches. he was intered to see my work i was a silver smith and he said he wanted to learn so after a month or so i told him i was gay and asked him if he knew what that was we talked back and forth for a while till i knew he under stood what i ment. so i let him think about that offer to sleep with him after a few days he said ok and we tryed it out so we went from there and we were together for like 40 years till he died a while back but i still love him but really disapointed that he left me here alone no mater how stupid that sounds

[oldster]

ok i guess i am that way too but maby a little or a few miles over the top
when i med the man of my dreams it was not because he had a perfect body
in fact he was a para paglic but i loved in sperit and his independance he had got a job managing a small trailer park and you would see him craweling on roofs going up ladders on his crutches

[oldster]

ok i will try a diffrent aproch i blame strights for this and also queer as folks most guys dont think there can be true gay love just gay lust because if they belive that it could mean we are almost like regular human beans and if they can get us to belive their crazy ideas then they can get more people against us while saying see we wre putting on gay shows but i had a commited relationship for like 25 years we were together like 40 years but had open relation ship for lots of the total relationship
but there is food for thought and think about other examples yourselves

[Sil]

My personal opinion is that there are a new wave of gay men emerging from the scene who are starting to look objectively at it and realise the flaws it has; the shallow side, the tackiness, the drama. Most ordinary guys run a mile from issues like these in favour of something more wholesome, and that can only be a good thing.

Gay men have been living up to a self-imposed stereotype for years, the 'leaking dam' syndrome, where years of repression suddenly burst into flamboyance or a sexual bazaar. With increased modern acceptance, this social reprisal effect is becoming lesser, and men are finding more and more that they can be themselves, warts and all, without having to get into music they don't like and clothes they can't fit into. Hurrah, I say.

Good for you mate, I'm glad someone is finally prepared to admit that they take things steady and don't throw themselves into bed. Some people take longer to deal with sexual feelings and issues than others (myself included) but it always gives a lot of hope to the rest of us guys who whilst 'out', are still new to the scene and the stereotypes it centres around.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You have a two things going against you Blake.

First: You are a victim of your age. Young males, in their late teens to their early 30's are largely guided by the little head. Some (by no means most) of us are able to temper the thoughts of the little head with the big head.

Humans are biological, sexual beings. Our prime sexual period is pretty much where you are, thus most of the men in your age group are going to be more sexually active and thinking with the little head.


Secondly: is that the reality of love is obscured under thousands of years of self imposed limitations we humans have put on our sexual natures. There is the 'reality' which is that love is an outgrowth of the basic animal need to procreate, thus pass on our genetic material to insure our survival, and the 'fairy tale' that attempts to raise the animal up and make us look like we are not actually governed by our animal need to procreate, pass on our genetic material.

You are thus a victim of the Fairy Tale story of 'love'.

This is not to say there is no hope for you and your 'condition'. Because there are a few others out there in your peer group who feel as you feel. However they are farther and fewer in between than most people want to admit.

There are stages to love:
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationsh...ious-love/

http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&...82&bih=661 for other sites

I predict in your early 30's you will most likely find 'the man' who is 'relationship material'. Many, maybe even most of us, start seriously reconsidering our priorities in when our age hits the 3-0.

I'm not dismissing your needs/desires, but I would suggest that you do have a bit of fun and not set to high of goals on love/relationships at this point in your life.

Yes I know, that is easier said and done. I was were you are now when I was around your age. My determination to find 'True Love' closed me off from having many experiences that frankly now I wish I had taken a chance and experience.

Like you I set 'no sex until XXX days' rules. I also went into a couple three relationships that I thought that the guy I was with was wanting love... come to find out that he only wanted power over another person, which lead me into abusive relationships. Both emotional and the physical kinds.

All total I have only had 8 sex partners in my whole life. Being a gay male that is basically saying 'I have never had sex'.....

But I did find love, in my early 30's I met the man I am with now.... we have been together for a very long time, monogamous and its a relatively 'healthy' relationship. We are papered (legal) domestic partners (California is still debating the whole gay marriage thing).

Chances are pretty high you will find what you are looking for. It may take a while, but eventually you will find it.

Try to have fun until then, don't blind yourself to other possibilities and deny yourself experiences, you may eventually come to look back with a bit of regret.