Can telling your father be this terrible?

[princealbertofb]

I just subscribed to that channel as well

Those of you who have accepting families are truly lucky.

(not only do I live in a place where all the neighbors are anti-gay, and there's a fair amount of racism too)
My mother in particular is very homophobic/anti-gay, father is anti-gay as well...but not like my mother, brother is more accepting of gays than he used to be, but still somewhat anti-gay. My sister is the only one who's accepting, and one of her closest friends is a gay guy.

Besides the fact i don't want to be 'out', there's a reason i wouldn't mention my bi side to any family member.



so after watching that (shocking/scary) vid ... the answer would be: YEP it is ... if i was put in that situation..I'd have 2 choices (since i could never tell) :
* "disappear" which would mean I'd eventually end up living on the streets
or
* go jump of a bridge(/something along that line)

Well, after all, Jay, what you do in your bedroom is none of their concern, especially if you're not going to end up being a father (and maybe depriving them of knowing their grandchildren). But I'm sorry that you live in such a homophobic environment. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. I think that's why so many people leave their families and recompose a family from friends...

[zeon]

My grandfather, that is my mother's stepfather, has a gay son he hasn't spoken to for more than twenty years. No one in my family has made a fuss over my sexuality. I've never point-blank told Jerry I was gay, but my grandmother knows as does everyone else. I imagine if he had an issue with me because of it, he would find himself out on the doorstep rather quickly. My family is very tight and we take care of each other. I have a feeling my grandfather deeply regrets now how he treated his son.

If i was you id tell your grandfather enough time is enough being lost with his son its time now for him to face him and re build bridges... Forgive forget and move onwards and upwards... He cannot change the past but can change the future before its too late... You said your family are tight and take care of each other so why not find his son with him and welcome him back and owing him an apology from your grandfather?

[red06sc]

i dont want to come out to my dad, he is always f*g this or f*ggot that...so yea not to interested in doing that.

[James]

I really hate initial reaction, that is what people do while still in shock/denial, time wounds all heals, sometimes less time is better before they think what u did to them, sorry this is the way I am, accept it and move on, James

[72jay]

Well, after all, Jay, what you do in your bedroom is none of their concern, especially if you're not going to end up being a father (and maybe depriving them of knowing their grandchildren).

I agree there, who i choose to be with is my business alone LOL
I'll never be a father LOL I deff don't want children, but my my parents are grandparents .. they've got 2 awesome granddaughters from my sister

But I'm sorry that you live in such a homophobic environment. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. I think that's why so many people leave their families and recompose a family from friends...

Thanks man ..
Even with what i said I'm still close with my family/parents (plus at this point I'm somewhat dependent on them...but sometime in the future i eventually hope to be able afford to buy a place of my own (LOL that thought scares me just a bit too since then I'll truly be alone LOL))

[OsirisGuy23]

I hate to be the bearer of truth (truth in my opinion isn't necessarily based in subjective experience but varies by topic and perspective, and proximity towards the topic) but not all scenarios of coming out to parents end positively; the coming out process in TRUTH, rather in TOTAL is really dependent on a simple "coin toss" that's often flipped by the child....and determined by the parents;

In truth, some people just don't have the capacity to understand, respect, or value a lifestyle aside from their own; and in truth, they have very little reason to do this; their life suits them fine, why should they be prompted to change, or expand for their child's, or another person's "lifestyle"? You have a right to do what makes you happy, even if you have to stand alone in it. I do have to admit the whole "Third Party Perspective" in this type of situation does loose it's power.

Point is, like so many guys on here have told me, is to accept YOURSELF for YOURSELF....and in my opinion, if need be, BY YOURSELF.

[Jason74]

I feel extremely lucky that my dad was very cool about it and told me that all he wants for me is to be happy and that is it. Yet my parents are very liberal and down to earth with life and issues in life so I kind of expected it would go good. Yet I have a brother that is a total homophobic and when my other brother told me why, it made total sense. He had some gay lovers over the years and just was scared shitless of people knowing so he just acted like a douche bag towards me.

Actually my relationship with my dad just got even better after I told him.

[Robbie]

I am very lucky too. I come from a very Christian, conservative family. I was so scared to tell them, especially my dad. When I told him, he showed a lot of love and care. He still tried to argue me out of it a little bit, but when he knew he couldn't do anything he gave up lol. We still have a good relationship

[billyclay]

I tild my dad when I was 15 fist fight never spoke to him. Even blame self foe my parents divorce. But thankfully 8 years later his eyes are bit more open now, we have had long talks on the subject and has even met my boyfriend who I been with since 15. We get along. Some people take longer to adjust and somenever adjust. Just remember whateverhappens there is always people who you can talk with.

[Jay]

My dad found out when I was around 11 years and boy, was he pissed or what. He gave me silent treatment for weeks.

Of course my parents think I am fully cured now so my parents are all jolly good.

I'm ready to be disowned. Although I do predict that my mom will then text me to repent from time to time. Plus sending me quotes from Koran.

Hm, maybe I should tell my parents that I am agnostic as well.