Do my father know I'm gay!?

[Uke]

Just don't jump into conclusions, K? We can't possibly provide you with answers on this, we can only give you some fragile guesses.

[posterpicture]

Parents always know.
Just some deny, some don't.

[SrChulo]

Yes of course he knows. Be happy that he accepts you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

This one conversation does not give enough data for me to figure out what is and is not going on in your father's head. I do not know how he normally talks.

If he was talking with your brother would he have said it exactly that way? If yes, then it is just the way your father talks.

If your father would never ever add the tag 'whatever you choose' with your brother, then the likelihood is that your father 'knows' on some level.

Even then this doesn't mean he is actually aware that he knows, it could be a subconscious awareness that you are 'different' than your brother and when he talks his inner thoughts come to the surface only in his words.

"Gaydar" (Gay radar) is a mix of facts that we humans pick up on. Many times we can 'tell' because what a person DOESN'T say says much more than what they do say. As others pointed out, if you fail to talk about girls or have a girl friend it could be one of many signals you are sending out, not even aware that you are doing it, and most people are unaware that you are sending the signals.

Humans communicate a lot more than just what they are aware of what they are thinking at the time.

And it may only be your desire for your dad to know who 'you' are. That is making you more aware of such comments.

Again, there is not enough data to say what is really going on.

[Kyle]

First of all I'd say this is something positive. I'd get nervous if my dad said that but at some point I'd be happy.
I think there is two ways, one is that he meant a girl with different status, a girlfriend, a wife or whatever.
I don't know what kind of a person your father is but if he's attentive maybe he suspects something?
You are 18 and if you have never had a girlfriend or never brought a girl home, maybe he suspects something. Anyway, no matter what he meant you don't have to worry.

[jamiebfd]

Who knows lol.
Maybe its time to come out anyway xD

[oldster]

The other day, think it was Saturday i was just talking to my father about how we going to celebrate christmas, it has always been me my brother, my mother and father but my parents had a great fight not long ago and neither has recovered from it. I said i understood and also said if my brother gets more serious with her girlfriend then they might want to celebrate it alone. After it my dad said ''Well sooner or later you are going to have a girl friend or whatever you choose and going to start a family as well.''

What did he mean by Whatever you choose? Do he knows I am gay? :eek: What do you think? There is only man and a woman, there is no other sexes.

there is two sexes if you are hetro butmore than just marriage as a form for relationship maby he thought if you did not wish to be in a responsabil relation ship you may wish to be just find some woman to live in sin with
after all some men the thought their son being gay is a attack against their own masulinity
or atleast in their mind. just some food for thought

[Aester]

Easiest way to describe my father could be Flanders/Soldier. He isn't a soldier but he acts a bit like one. He has strong Christian faith, is very discipled and strict. He has never actually hit me but did not spoil us and raised us very strictly.

I've always thought that he has always been against homosexuality but sincerely I do not remember moment where he has shown it. When i think about it he has never shown any homophobia, but a little anti antisemitism and antimuslimism (Don't know if there is any term for that).

Although he has encouraged in all my life not to become like my brother, As my father once said to my brother, I will always love you, but I can not love those things you do (He has always been rather criminal, always doing graffiti / tagging and shoplifting)... But they've been a lot closer as my brother has gone more mature and has a girlfriend all in the family likes.

But I simply do not know how he stands on this point, but is there any ways to reveal if he knows and its perfectly fine with with it, without revealing my sexuality so I can be sure?

[Wolf]

Unless you've somehow overheard him talking about you to someone and he says "You know, I sometimes wonder about Aester. I wonder if he could possibly be gay. If so, it doesn't matter i love him anyway." (or anything he might say that suggests he accepts you) Then there really isn't a way to know if he knows without directly revealing your sexuality except to ask him what he would think if you were gay. Naturally though, you are all too likely to get outed as he is almost guaranteed to ask, Why? Are you gay?

Does the topic of homosexuality ever come up in your house? Or do you maybe see gay people on TV or on the street? See how he reacts to that. Then you can make judgements from there. But above all, trust your gut instincts. If you don't feel safe, don't tell.

[Aester]

Never at my fathers house, or once I heard him mumble very silently ''Wouv shall not sin...'' after sapping by Fab 5 on TV.