Sex between boyfriends

[Kyle]

I have wanted to open this thread for last few weeks.

I'd like to ask if you think that there should be any limit in sex between boyfriends.
Do you believe that sex without any limits can cause the loss of love?

I am talking about rimming, spitting, golden shower, feet licking etc which usually are not part of our sex. Do you think doing all these with boyfriend makes you love your partner less?

Because with your boyfriend you are gentle and caring and when you have rough sex and pull his hair and slap his ass and spit etc it might change feelings, no?

One more question, should boyfriends do that? There is two ways, if you do it, it may affect the relationship and if you don't (and if you have desire to have that kind of sex) you start thinking of doing it with someone else.

My own opinion is that there should be some limits. I have had most of above mentioned with my boyfriend and still love him the same way but I have felt a bit uncomfortable afterwards. Also he has said hypothetically he would try golden shower but not with me. (Then he said because he was not going to cheat on me or we were not going to break up he would never do that and it would be ok.)


I think my questions and points are clear. Interested in your opinions.

[TySlamma]

I would talk it over with your boyfriend and if you two are comfortable with any of these scenarios then go for it, but take it slow you don't want to go from normal sex to peeing and other fetish behaviors with each others, ie golden showers, feet licking, and any other different sexual fetishes you can think of. My boyfriend and I keep it pretty normal and don't do anything to extreme, I do like light bondage but thats bout it for me

[pellaz]

...
My own opinion is that there should be some limits ... I have felt a bit uncomfortable afterwards.
Also he has said hypothetically he would try golden shower but not with me.

sounds like both of you guys have an opinion, run with it for now.

... Do you think doing all these with boyfriend makes you love your partner less? ...

you have to evaluate the reasons why you would want to do this to someone. i guess i am saying its bad because turn the issue around, would you do it to yourself or how would you have to feel inside you to do it to yourself. an expression the negative; manifestation of jealousy or empowerment over someone, an expression of hopelessness for yourself. just my two cents.

... (Then he said ... or we were not going to break up he would never do that and it would be ok.)

logic here is fractured but all good. i am thinking he is saying he is going to work on the negative feelings and be the gentle and caring bf.

[ardus]

I have wanted to open this thread for last few weeks.

I'd like to ask if you think that there should be any limit in sex between boyfriends.
Do you believe that sex without any limits can cause the loss of love?

I am talking about rimming, spitting, golden shower, feet licking etc which usually are not part of our sex. Do you think doing all these with boyfriend makes you love your partner less?

Because with your boyfriend you are gentle and caring and when you have rough sex and pull his hair and slap his ass and spit etc it might change feelings, no?

One more question, should boyfriends do that? There is two ways, if you do it, it may affect the relationship and if you don't (and if you have desire to have that kind of sex) you start thinking of doing it with someone else.

My own opinion is that there should be some limits. I have had most of above mentioned with my boyfriend and still love him the same way but I have felt a bit uncomfortable afterwards. Also he has said hypothetically he would try golden shower but not with me. (Then he said because he was not going to cheat on me or we were not going to break up he would never do that and it would be ok.)


I think my questions and points are clear. Interested in your opinions.

Well Kyle, it sounds to me like you and your boyfriend have a fundamentally different idea about your sex life. I think, personally, that two people who are trying to maintain a relationship should be open with each other about what they like and don't like sexually, and that if one person's desires are different from the other they have to do one of two things. One, they have to compromise, they have to find a middle ground where they can meet and be happy, this is by far the most difficult option because when it comes to sexuality we are alsmost all very rigid people. If they can't compromise, then they should realize they are sexually incompatible and move on to save themselves the pain of being in a long relationship without a physical connection. It sounds harsh, but sometimes amputation is the right answer.
Only you and he know what the right answer is.
Richard

[dfiant]

Limits, like relationships, are a personal thing. Yes I think limits should be set within a relationship because there are 2 people involved and compromise is what relationships are all about, but WHAT the limitations are depends on the two people involved. Some people have fetishes that work in a relationship.

Whatever works in a relationship, and just like people are individuals, so are relationships

[Bowyn Aerrow]

S&M relationships where there is a lot of 'rough play' draw up a contract. Before they actually have sex, they discuss limits, safe word, and pretty much get to know one another fairly well before the whips, chains, wax, whatever is pulled out and applied.

S&M couples, due to their ability to communicate for sex tend to fair better in the whole relationship.

As long as both sides of the partnership agree and want it, there is no reason why they should pass.

Sex is a complex thing, even seemingly rough and cold sex can be very intimate. Consider that there has to be a lot of trust in 'rough' sex, you have to trust that if you are tied up and your partner is torturing you that when you say 'White House' (or whatever the safe word is) that he will stop.

[SleepTalker]

I think you guys should put everything out on the table and discuss what your likes and dislikes are. That way both of you guys will enjoy your sex life without either one of you feeling uncomfortable.

[princealbertofb]

I think it's all up for discussion and, as someone said, it's all to do with comfort zones. Some people would be ready to do anything to please their partners, others will be too out of their depth in some areas. The best way is probably to ask if it's all right, or if the other will be freaked out by some forms of behaviour and sexual acts. People's threshold of pain and pleasure are very different too, and so are turn ons. Sometimes, it may be possible to find a substitute for the real thing, thus not endangering the relationship with acts that are just "too weird"...

[Kyle]

Interesting to hear your opinions. Opening this thread I wanted to encourage discussion about the topic generally not specifically about me and my boyfriend but looks like it's easier to speak about something very specific.

I can not say my boyfriend and I used to have sex to extremes. We used to have a pretty normal sex as everyone else and I'm not into fetishes and he has only foot fetish. I had never ever thought about that before meeting him but after some time I understood what he likes and learned how to please him.

Usually I do like to be aggressive in sex but I never thought about being one while having sex with someone I love. As long as my boyfriend is bottom somehow I can say he enjoys to feel inferior/submissive in sex. He's very proud person, feeling superior to everyone else but when it comes to sex it's vice versa. He wants me to be absolutely dominating on him. I have no problem to have any kind of sex with fetishes, and I love being dominant but what made me thinking was that I did't want to damage our relationship because of too "weird" sex. We have done, facials, cum swallowing, spanking, he likes if I force him for example to lick my feet, he enjoy jerking off more if I put my foot on his face etc. (I don't want to go into more details.)

What concerns me is my past experience. I had a boyfriend who was also bottom and we had very conservative sex if I can say so. He never let me give him a blow job because he thought it would be offensive for me but he did to me. Long story shortly, our love was gone and we became something like fuck buddies, I still had feelings towards him but he wouldn't date me if we didn't have a hard sex, he asked me to abuse in different ways and honestly I didn't enjoy it. It was all very exciting sexually but I didn't feel OK to do that to him.

So I started thinking about this because I don't want same to happen to my current relationship. (Although this is not the most important problem, we have lots of other things going on besides sex).

What I'm talking about is that if you spit on someone, pull his hair and force to do some things and make you cum then you can not just smile and say "oh, dear that was such a wonderful sex, I love you more than anyone in the universe" and hug.

So that's why I think there should be some limits. Still problem is unsolved because here's the dilemma 1) If I have this hard sex with him, he's sexually satisfied but I'm afraid his feelings will fade away. 2) If I don't do this I know he'll still love me but I'm afraid he will start thinking to make his sexual fantasies come true with someone else.

[John]

I would say that, a mutual decision should be made. Just tell him what's on your mind and also hear from him, like what are the things that he's expecting from you.