Need Some Advise (Damn you naughty thoughts) >_<

[BabyPolarBear]

Ok so i work with a guy friend at boy's and girl's club. I volunteer and he works.

I've know him for years BUT now I've kind of got a school girl crush on him.

he gives me hugs and but grabs kind of playfully when the kids are around but when there not what he dose seems less playful and has more of a meaning behind it, but he could just be messen around.

And all this stuff he started first,now i just hug him back (unfortunately i regret not taken a squeeze of that nice ass of his)

But their is a twist I've only heard that he dates women (and he is in a relationship now) which makes me think his just kidding.

But even another twist. a while ago on facebook he did this app where you answer all kinds of random questions about your facebook friends and other friends can't see it. ( a friend thinks you like blue est.) But they must do like a few surveys or something like that to see who answered the question.

Well the question was if i should come out of the closet and he said yes ( i haven't told him I'm gay)

Now i don't know if all this is just playen around and kidding or if he thinks im gay and his serious. I hope its the second one

I could really use some advise if some like this has happened to you thanks

[BabyPolarBear]

And thanks again for any thing you have to say

[LateBloomer]

Ok so i work with a guy friend at boy's and girl's club. I volunteer and he works.

I've know him for years BUT now I've kind of got a school girl crush on him.

he gives me hugs and but grabs kind of playfully when the kids are around but when there not what he dose seems less playful and has more of a meaning behind it, but he could just be messen around.

And all this stuff he started first,now i just hug him back (unfortunately i regret not taken a squeeze of that nice ass of his)

But their is a twist I've only heard that he dates women (and he is in a relationship now) which makes me think his just kidding.

But even another twist. a while ago on facebook he did this app where you answer all kinds of random questions about your facebook friends and other friends can't see it. ( a friend thinks you like blue est.) But they must do like a few surveys or something like that to see who answered the question.

Well the question was if i should come out of the closet and he said yes ( i haven't told him I'm gay)

Now i don't know if all this is just playen around and kidding or if he thinks im gay and his serious. I hope its the second one

I could really use some advise if some like this has happened to you thanks

Disclaimer: Everything I write after this assumes we DON'T know if he's really in a relationship or not.

Because, if he's in a relationship, then you pretty much have to consider him "off the market" and everything else is just flirting (which can be playful, but sort of manipulative too, if he's playing with your feelings).

Either way, a little humor can really help "break the ice". You might try just joking around with him about hearing people say that he's in a relationship.

Something like, "Man, if you weren't already spoken for, I'd be all over you like white on rice!"

...or something cheesy like that...


If he *is* committed to someone else, well, he won't take your bait. But if he's not, and he's interested, who knows? You might have him hook, line and sinker.

Good luck.

[DerJack]

I'd say for one, that Facebook is a terrible thing to rely on for such info. That being said, it can be a great starting point... like in conversation. Bring that quiz up and joke about it, and see how he handles it. Maybe let him know that he was right, see how he handles that... and well go from there.

Best of luck with the situation, if all goes well (or you ever get around to grabbing his arse in one of them hugs), give it an extra squeeze for me! mile:

[matty7]

well if he's in a relationship with a women that doesn't always mean a guys is straight by any stretch ( people do things to keep up appearances sometimes ) although u will have to tread carefully as not to risk your friendship m8... an obvious one is to straight ask him if u could tell him something in confidence...tell him your gay and ask if that would be a problem between you !! his reaction could show u if ur in with a chance,,,, other wise u can just drop subtle hints ! comment on a guy looking good in a nice shirt etc - see how he reacts - does he agree or ????

lets hope his playfullnes means he's interested m8 ... you'll never know unless u say something

[pellaz]

Ok so i work with a guy friend at boy's and girl's club. I volunteer and he works.

lacking details, maybe a good, but if you are out i bet your volunteering days are numbered. I realy think, in the long run, its best to be truthful. You have to do what you think is the best for yourself and not for someone else.

the gay population is tiny (~3-8%) so why should this friend be gay? dont be the lazy gay, there are plenty of fish, toss this one back for a while. Hang around and see what happens but i bet he is not gay. Wait will he brakes up with his current bow and make the move.

sorry to be negative.

[Inchante]

lacking details, maybe a good, but if you are out i bet your volunteering days are numbered. I realy think, in the long run, its best to be truthful. You have to do what you think is the best for yourself and not for someone else.

the gay population is tiny (~3-8%) so why should this friend be gay? dont be the lazy gay, there are plenty of fish, toss this one back for a while. Hang around and see what happens but i bet he is not gay. Wait will he brakes up with his current bow and make the move.

sorry to be negative.

I would have to second these thoughts. Risking your standing as a volunteer for something that is playful and likely no more than curiosity is not worth it. I say the right guy is out there, just keep looking. If this guy really wants you, he'll make a real move.

[SleepTalker]

I would do the commenting on guys thing. You can usually tell if hes interested by his reaction. He'll either feel comfortable enough to comment too, or he'll try to hold up appearances and wont say much at all. Just try not to come off too hard.

[Anthony]

I must agree with the latest commenters.. I don't think this guy is gay, but even if he is, the best could be done is wait - let's see what happens. There are straight guys out there who enjoy being attractive to gay boys eyes. They have fun, but as soos as the situation goes serious they usually share the situation with their fellows and from that point they tend to make fun of you...

He might be gay though, I would say wait and see what happens. If he is interested in you, he will make the move. Be careful!

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[BabyPolarBear]

Thanks for all the advice its much appreciated :biggrin: