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I've been having some depressing thoughts recently...
#1
I'm kinda just venting, I don't need advice as these feelings will go soon I'm sure.

I've been told that this is a tad depressing so look away if you're happy.

This post is rather disjointed.

I was at a male friend's house recently and I was wondering if he'd want me over if he knew that I was gay. Or if his mother would let someone gay hang out with her son.

Some talk about my brother getting married happened recently and I thought about me not being able to properly get married and have people attend. And even if I could get married, who would attend if they saw two male names on the invitations?

I was wondering if my family was going to be ashamed of me or if I'll disappoint them. I could just imagine some of my neighbours gossiping ''You know they have a gay son?''. They'd probably use a much more offensive term of course.

I doubt I'll ever have children but maybe that's for the best since I'm sure they'd be teased about their ''daddies''.

I might not even be able to show affection to my partner in public because I'll be scared. That's if I even find a partner with the number of almost unlikable gays that I'm meeting. >_>
(Offline of course since I <3 you guys)

~~~

So... yeah. I'm not usually this pessimistic, it must be the new school term's fault.
Anyone else ever had/having thoughts like this?
#2
i had thoughts like this at times but i try not to worry but you should try not to worry too because you are what you are and its not fair that people put others down.
#3
No, you are not alone in having these thoughts. My situation is very similar except it's compounded by being the only son.

I can't wait for school break to be over either.

eta: sorry, man I didn't mean to dump in your post the other day. It triggered some fears that I have. I hope you are feeling better about things.
#4
I supose I'v also had these thoughts. Then again can't say I cared much about them, and quite happily brushed them off. Maybe I'll think more about it if the probelm arises, but for now I am quite content.

Anyhow think of the positives. I'm pretty sure he would still alow you to come around, and I'm pretty sure his morther has doughts about you which arnt concenred about your sexuality, no offense... maybe that just my friends mothers about me? ^_^ and every one gossips. it's a sad fact but no matter what you do it'll be talked about most likely Smile so best just to not care, or makesure what people gossip about is stuff you like to potray about yourself...

If you found some one you would want to spend the rest of your life with, trust me, it doesn't matter what people think, apart from the one you love... so if people don't want to turn up, so be it. At lease you've found someone to love and love you back Smile

anyways, not the best at explaining thing... and duno if this is helpful but yea... just think about it fully and truthully... it isnt so bad Smile
#5
You are very much not alone my friend these thoughts are very much a part of being different, as we are, not to worry you will find someone. probably when you least expect it.
#6
Oh dear. 19 years old (wow, we are same age now Wink happy birthday buddy ). You are young and you still have a whole new world a head to explore. Sometimes, we just have to walk instead of thinking about where to go. I wish you will walk the way that makes you happy most. Btw, I am back now, msg on msm if you need to talk.
#7
Been there done that and it's not pretty but you have to try and get through it as best you can.As time goes by I am sure your family and friends will understand your preference and support you.This is probably all new stuff for them anyway.I remember being your age one time and feeling so terribly alone but telling myself"You're gonna get through this no matter what" Believe in yourself tuxguy and everyone else will follow.If people at times put up a fight simply say"I'm going away for a bit and when you've calmed down I'll talk to you." Smile Lil buddy it will get better.Confusedmile:
#8
azulai Wrote:No, you are not alone in having these thoughts. My situation is very similar except it's compounded by being the only son.

I can't wait for school break to be over either.

eta: sorry, man I didn't mean to dump in your post the other day. It triggered some fears that I have. I hope you are feeling better about things.



I felt very lucky to have had two older sisters where able to bear the brunt of the whole "When are you gonna get married" thing.
#9
Worst case scenario.. if most people dislike you being gay, move to a gay community like p-town in massachusetts, usa. You'll never have to be scared there.


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