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I really hate ranting like this, but i've discovered that it helps me cope a little better to get this stuff out. Now, that being said...
So I don't this is particularly because I came-out, but I've always kinda felt like I was not wanted and that I didn't really belong. It sucks feeling this way from strangers or other acquaintances, but to feel this way from my own family really kills me.
I can't even muster up the will to speak out about this anymore because every time I've said something about how I felt in the past they attack me with guilt and shame. I've been told that I was too sensitive.
I think I might be a little paranoid, but the fact is that I still can't shake this feelings. These emotions grew when I came-out and it peaked again today when my mom practically told me that a demon was inside of me when I told her that I didn't believe in God anymore. I don't feel like I can talk to them. They don't understand me and I don't want any and all emotions I feel to be attributed to the equally unbelievable Satan character. It has gotten to the point that the social anxiety I feel around strangers, I feel at home around my own family.
At least one good thing came out of this, I won't be going to church anymore in attempts to keep up appearances.
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