Well, i've read all the posts and replies and i felt compelled to chime in.
First, what you're doing with him is called ENABLING! It's very common among those who love addicts. That said, i think you BOTH should consider seeking counseling. (Him for alcohol and you for your enabling).
It's alot like the "lost puppy" syndrome. You are compelled to "take care" of him because he's cute, needy, yet also erratic and addicted to booze.
If, by your own admission, you've not had a gay LTR due to past - and very intense problems in the past - you're really in no mental state to make educated decisions about how to proceed with him. This is WAY past either of your ability to resolve what's going on - so finding help is critical!
Another thing that's going on here is CO-DEPENDENCE! Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.
These are powerful mental stresses and require professional help!
You really can't address the "age difference" issue until all the other issues of dependency, alcohol abuse and your respective "pasts" are dealt with.
Keep us updated!
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