Englishman Wrote:Thanks guys, I know you are right, of course you are.
But what worries me, is the minute I see him, I will fall for his charm instantly, agree to take him back, but secretly detests him for what he did, then end up back here again.
I sound weak, but after dedicating my life to him for 17 years, that is exactly what will happen, that is why I can't see him.
Hmm, so tell me, WHY would it be so bad? Huh?
Do you think that it would make you look weak? A coward? Or the more dependable one? Why are you so afraid to go back together? Because he may do it again?
Let's face it, you are in the hiding and you feel miserable. You don't need to prove yourself and stay away from him just because you feel like the world won't approve. If you feel like your life with him was great, work on it and make it work again.
If you feel like cheating is something that the whole decent world hates, ask yourself if YOU hate it, or if you just go with what all the world does.
Because it is possible that the fact that you are stuck, not able to move on, can mean that in the deep of your heart you would like to go back to him and are ashamed for feeling that way.
Don't prove yourself to the world, do what makes you happy. It's never easy to breakup and it's even harder after so many years.
I am not saying that everything will be great if you take him back. But you never know if you don't try.
Either way, you have to go back. You can't hide at your mother's place. Go back and breakup and talk about the finance and all the stuff you own, or try to live together again and work on the relationship.