partisan Wrote:Wow, lot of replys, dont know what little i can add, from what ive read your very torn on this, yes your worried about living alone and his wellbeing but those shouldnt be reasons to go back. Love comes with a lot of other things too and sometime the scariest thing is the change, breaking away from your comftable circumstances, and the person youve spent so much time with, well... good luck whatever you decide
Yes you are right, I am very torn. What ever I chose will have big implications on the future, I just do not know what to do.
All I know is at the moment I feel incredibly lonely.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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In the end will be your decision. All im saying is dont go back for any other reason than you want to and try not to be lonely, be excited about meeting new people, maybe theres someone who your more compatible with in ways you didn't know. Just thinking aloud, having had to make this sort of decision my self, on the other hand if you really think you belong with each other then well do what you must, im not helping alot am i, oh btw its good to have an Englishman here, to boost up the numbers  Luv your avi
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Englishman Wrote:I just spoke to him on the phone, I wish I didn't now, I feel like my hearts my been ripped out. 
He want's to see me tomorrow, I really don't know.
Go see him, but bring a third party to keep things civil and to snap you out of his charms so to speak.
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My advice after a break up is to give it three months without any social contact.
During that time you're vulnerable - both of you and its too easy during this time to get back in to a bad relationship with all its faults. After three months there's no reason why you can't try to be friends but you will both have moved on a little.
I did this with one of my exes and after three months I agreed to meet him to go to the cinema. I'm glad I met him again because it gave me the opportunity to see how he still liked to control me and my life.
I didn't bother keeping in regular contact and in time all contact faded. I don't know where he is, what he's doing or who he's with but moreover... I don't care.
That three month period gave me the chance to be me, rediscover the things I liked and enjoyed doing, to be me again.
If you open a wound it will bleed!
Good luck!
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Thanks guys, all of you.
Your advice really is helping.
I didn't see him today, I couldn't face it, I emailed him and said I will go and see him in a few days.
I have heard he hasen't been into work for a few days, so I told him to stay away this week and I will go in from tomorrow.
I love our little shop that is 1 thing I really don't want to lose.
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Vigilias Wrote:My advice after a break up is to give it three months without any social contact.
Good luck!
I| have tried, I really have, but it's killing me.
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Krupt Wrote:I think you are going to have to take your 'heart' out of the equation and start analysing everything critically with your 'mind'.
i think you also need to have a very very good chat with some you trust and someone that will love you no matter what....you're mum 
Krupt, you are right of course, but that throws up other issues. As much as she tries, she tends to dismiss anything 'Gay' as sillyness.
Also, I'm 33 years old, I should be standing on my own 2 feet.
You do seem a very point blank (judging on other posts of yours), but kind sort of guy, if only we were in the same hemisphere, I'd pop over for a moan and a cuppa. 
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Couples counselor - they are a unbiased third party and provide a safe place for couples to talk.
You don't throw out your car when it starts making knocking sounds, or blows a transmission, you take it to a mechanic first to find out if the car is worth saving, and then have the mechanic work on it.
A couple's counselor is a mechanic for marriages/couples.
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Couples counselor - they are a unbiased third party and provide a safe place for couples to talk.
You don't throw out your car when it starts making knocking sounds, or blows a transmission, you take it to a mechanic first to find out if the car is worth saving, and then have the mechanic work on it.
A couple's counselor is a mechanic for marriages/couples.
Mr Aerrow, I will have a goolge and see what I think, hows that sound?
And thank you.
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:I suggest couples therapy.
I don't know exactly where in the UK you live, but perhaps this: http://www.pinktherapy.com/ will be helpful?
I'm actually kind of jealous and envious that you have it so good with one man. But I have been with worse - much worse and know exactly how bad it can be.
I linked on an earlier day see above.
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