Am I falling for a woman?

[hank]

This is a strange issue for me. First off I have pretty much been gay all my life. To the point that I am comfortable identifying openly as gay. I only fantasize about men and and only ever feel attracted to men, accept one person. I love this person to the point I think I could spend my life with them. I find myself caring deeply for her, even finding her attractive. She knows I am gay-ish, i call myself bisexual because of this. The major issue I have is why is she the only one female I have ever felt this way for? This is so deeply confusing.

Thus isn't about living a straight life. All my friends know I am gay accept and live me. But my heart sings in her presence. I hurt when she is away. I almost hate that I came out because I feel out has hurt my chances with her.

I am so so so confused. I am gay accept for her. That isn't fair to make her be with me if I am gay. But with her I am not sure that i would be. We are friends I have been with her for 17 years.

This makes me doubt this thing I am so sure about. Am I really gay at all.

Reflects?

[megumidesu]

maybe don't worry so much about labeling yourself and realize that you can fall in love with anyone regardless of what's between their legs.

[Edward]

Well if you find her attractive and sexually appealing, then you're probably not gay, but more like bisexual. Or sometimes there are people who have just one exception in their sexuality. She could be your exception.

[partis]

your heart sings for her... thats not easy to find...

[hank]

maybe don't worry so much about labeling yourself and realize that you can fall in love with anyone regardless of what's between their legs.

I am not worried about the label so much, just the fact that looking at pictures and people I never ever turn my head for a woman. Why is it thus one and only woman in my life? I thought I had thus figured out.

[hank]

your heart sings for her... thats not easy to find...

I know, that is the most confusing of it all. how could a gay man be in love with a woman?

[partis]

I know, that is the most confusing of it all. how could a gay man be in love with a woman?

i dont know but you are, sorry i dont know what to say except if you find something that makes you happy just go for it

if you feel more strongly for her than any guy maybe your not as gay as you think, your just bi

[SolemnBoy]

I'm pretty sure I'm either gay or just extremely predominantly attracted to men but my first love interest that went beyond a mere crush was with a girl... so like Megumi said, labeling yourself, especially too strictly, is a bad idea.

[Memby]

Let's not trip over labels - gay, bisexual, straight. Who cares? I say: just go for it, hank! Tell her how you feel.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You have known yourself as gay nearly your whole life? How honest is that Hank?

http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=22417

http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=22053

http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=21263

Do you recall your first post to us here at Gayspeak?

http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=21121 Where your opening introduction you said:

I came out to some friends first. Of course I am bisexual, not gay. So there is a bit more confusion on some peoples parts.

So you have always known you were gay.....

And this confusion everyone has about you may be justified because you keep on confusing them. I mean even right now you are confusing people:

She knows I am gay-ish, i call myself bisexual because of this.

I honestly do not think you know who Hank is, nor for that matter have you fully accepted Hank.

To turn up the heat a little bit more. You are lying to a woman who you supposedly love. Lying is not an act of love - never has been, never will be. Stop it.

You have been manipulating her all along. This 'love' and 'attraction' thing you claim to feel toward her is kind of scary considering how apparently you feel its perfectly ok to lead her to believe you are bisexual so you can keep her as an alternative option in case the whole gay thing becomes to troublesome for you.

No - you have not known you are gay - I suspect that you haven't been able nor willing to actually accept that on any real level. Had you your best friend would have been included on the list of people you came out as a gay man to.

I strongly suggest you read all the threads you started and see what Hank has been saying when it comes to his sexuality. Go back and see how conflicted and confused you really are.

I then strongly suggest you pull this gal to the side and tell her the truth - the 100%, bonafide truth about Hank and his confusion over his own sexuality.


Incidentally, I think if you actually go back and read what you wrote you will reveal to yourself exactly what you think of 'straight' *wink wink* men - If I recall correctly Dfiant pulled you to the side and talked out of a 'potentially bad' situation at least once in this area.

You need to stop lying now. Its no longer adorable and cute, its irritating and annoying. Stop it.