Frustration at not feeling valued

[southbiochem]

that's OK..

use GS to rant, vent, to get it out of your system

[Drkmcnamara]

I am in such an immense amount of physical and psychological pain right now and I no one can help me and I feel like I can't do anything either. All I wanna do is just cry. I am sorry everyone.

[Drkmcnamara]

K southbio sounds good but what do I do in the meantime while I wait? I still have needs that other guys have you like sex

[MisterTinkles]

Situations are like clothes.............if they dont fit right, change them. That includes people too!!!

Look at that first link I posted earlier. Call them and talk to them. See if there are any group meetings you could go too, where people have the same issues you do. They should have some groups and organizations listed on the website, if not, email them or call them and ask.

I have seen MANY, MANY, MANY disabled gay couples in the DFW area, along with those who have to have braces, walkers, and/or wheelchairs.

Dont let other people define who you are. YOU define who you are, and then you tell THEM how it is.

You definitely need a drag queen tutor for some bitch-diva training! If I could afford gas, and driving my old truck that far, I would come down there and tutor you myself. Mmmm hmmm!!! **snap, snap**

[Drkmcnamara]

Will any guy ever want to cuddle me, love me and make love to me?

[Drkmcnamara]

Oh yea and honestly it was one of those drag queens who told me I was ugly and gave me to low down on the gay community "works". Not nice to me at all

[Drkmcnamara]

This whole topic has become real depressing for me. Well at least there are guys in this world who would at least appreciate me even they are thousands of niles away

[Jay]

Babe, you are still young. Do not worry about finding a man. When the right time comes, the right man will appear in front of you.

In the mean time, you need to learn to love, respect and accept yourself. This may sound harsh but you cannot expect a man to be impressed with you when you are not impressed with your own self. My apology if it sounds harsh.

First thing first, discover and love yourself. Don't let anyone tells you how to live your life.

Find friends that can support, encourage and accept you as who you are.

I understand that you feel down right now. But don't let it conquer and drown you further. Rise and learn to be a better person with a positive perspective towards life.

Last but not least, I honestly think you are a good looking and super cute guy. Cheers.

[Double007]

I am so sorry to hear how discouraged you are. Don't give up. I really don't mean to be rude but you spoke with a drag queen. It's not like she's the queen of the gay community. You are getting yourself all frustrated from the words of one person, as if she's the gay community spokes person. At least talk to some more people before you rule out your odds. If you are reading the replies carefully, the majority of the people are disgusted by stuck up and shallow people. Not everyone thinks like "the queen" that you spoke to.

On another note. If you are unhappy with somethings about yourself make some changes. Even with your medical condition you can still enjoy the time you have now. I tend to be a future minded person and sometimes that ruins the now because I am so worried about what's going to happen later.

Take some small steps to build your confidence. Make some changes to your diet do a small work out. Try to find an LGBT center near you. The one where I live has groups that meet. See if there are any gay groups in your area.

Looking at your profile pic, I don't see anything wrong. I also have to add that people have different tastes. Some guys like skinny guys, some like muscular, I even know some that likes the hairy and bulky men, some prefer bald guys, not every guy like s the "pretty boys". My point is that you are somebody's type. Someone is going to prefer you whether it be your smile, personality, body, sense of humor or any other good qulity about you.

So, please don't let one misrepresented viewpoint ruin your outlook on life. You are only 21. You've got some living to do and some goals to achieve, big and small. I would focus on getting yourself stable. Get some counseling and talk to someone. You can do it!

[ExpatBrit77]

Oh dear. For what it’s worth, I would also give you a huge hug if I were there.

A few things you need to bear in mind. You are 21 years old. I know it’s of no consolation but most 21 year olds – regardless of sexual orientation – are still finding their way, growing into their looks etc.

Also, one of the things we don’t always realise is that shitty comments from others, the bitchy comments from the stick-thin twinks who probably haven’t eaten a decent meal in weeks, is more a reflection of what is going on in their own heads, more than anything you’ve done.

You realised and accepted your sexual orientation at a young age. Give yourself some credit for that. You didn’t deny who you were, you didn’t stick your head in the sand and go further into the closet. Believe me, that was me when I was your age. It’s not a good place to be.

Personally, I do feel like the existence of the gay “community” is something of a media concoction and I’m not entirely convinced it actually exists, any more than a “straight community” actually exists. Unfortunately people don’t generally realise this until they come out. But that is very much a side issue.

I feel for you, I really do. Partly because I feel like I could have written the content of your original post myself. All of the things you discuss, I have said time and time again and I have felt similarly alone, unwanted, etc. etc. Hell, I’ll be 37 this year and I am still impossibly single and I do occasionally feel the same as you do. But I PROMISE YOU that in time you will learn to develop a sense of humour or stop giving a shit about the arseholes who make those comments.

If you want to meet gay guys, look for activities that don’t necessarily revolve around bars. Join a gay bowling league. A gay cinema group. Anything. But you need to re-educate your brain so that it stops associating gay guys with these negative experiences. But also if your self-esteem is an issue, spend time with friends. Do things that don’t necessarily involve the gay community. Do things that you enjoy doing and you’re interested in. self-esteem will come from that as well, just because you’re gay you’re not required to spend every waking moment with gay guys. Having sex and getting laid isn't the be-all and end-all.

And consider therapy with a good gay-friendly or preferably gay therapist.

Sorry if it sounds harsh but it's 3am in the morning here in Europe

P.S. I am notoriously bad at taking my own advice