I just came out and I feel numb...

[CarGuy65]

Hi Shannon, when my ex wife found out about me (we were already separated at the time) she was pissed to say the least. Even though she had cheated on me, she still blamed me and kept throwing the "gay thing" in my face. When she had time to cool down she realized I was not the only one to blame. Within a couple weeks we got together to really sit down and talk it out and she was OK with me being the way I am.
Point is give her some time to process all the recent info and events and she may realize that as long as you are happy, that's all that is important.
I hope it will all work out for you as it did for me.
Of course there is a little more to the story than that. This is the short version. If you have any questions that I may be able to help you with, feel free to PM me.
I wish you all the best! Paul

[JWS]

Wow well done mate!!!! You have amazing wife also who was really understanding.

[Xandes]

Your soon to be ex-wife sure sounds amazing. I was just wondering, does she have a support group to help her process all this? Although my ex wife was very supportive of me, she needed help. My intentions are not to rain on this parade, but my heart goes out to her

[AlohaShannon]

Xandes, unfortunately no, she does not have a support group. I would like to add that between the first post and a subsequent update, things were significantly different. She does have some friends that she's talked to about all this but friends aren't typically objective and are very good at focusing on the negative.

Shannon

[MRossW]

When I came out to my parents, I'd already been in a long term relationship for 7 years. My orientation was just the elephant in the room we pretended wasn't there. But when I met the man who would become my husband, we decided to both make it perfectly clear that we were committing to each other. I opted to write a long letter to vent a lot of other issues I'd kept pent up, but when it came to my being gay, I told them they could accept it or not see me/us again - I'd be happy either way. A little harsh, but it worked.

But my REAL point here is when I took him to meet my windowed grandmother who had been a soul mate of sorts to me - she had her wild side - she gave us the "big sin", "Bible says...", "going to hell" speech. I stood up and told her that I didn't read the Bible that way and had found some authorities who supported my position, but if she felt that way, then we'd be leaving. And we got up and left. To my surprise, she AND my mother went out and researched other interpretations by Biblical scholars, and they both changed their minds and loved my BF as much as me. And when my grandmother passed away, the Lutheran minister admitted that they'd traded some passionate disagreements in her later years, especially when she took a universalist stand. Having been a UU at the time, I broke down into tears during the service when I heard that. She got the last laugh, as I should have expected.

So tough love can work with parents and relatives. Stay strong.

[AlohaShannon]

MRossW, thanks so much for your response! I'd love to know more about the subject. Mind posting some of that info here or shooting me a private message? I'd appreciate it greatly.

[MRossW]

This is a good start: (sorry I'm new here and won't let me post the link - and I haven't posted enough yet to PM you either! How to solve this??)
If someone is resistant to change, it may be better to use shorter articles like these instead of handing them a book. One good thing about this article is that if your mother decides to reconsider her position, it will help her defend her revised opinion when her "church lady" friends - or maybe even your father - ask her if she's lost her mind. Check out the abundant comments at the end of the article as well, as well as links to other sources and books.
The books my grand/mother used would have been from the late 70s. One in particular sought to clarify Paul's writings. Others, like this article, spoke mainly about tribe preservation and historical context. One other interesting commentary I found several times was the clobber passage about sleeping with "a man as he slept with a woman" was problematic because the "as" was an imprecise translation of a word that had no English or Greek counterpart. The conclusion was that it was actually applying to men whom God had made straight acting contrary to their orientation by having sex with men. One would assume that those of us created gay would also be sinning by pretending to be straight and sleeping with women. Obviously I wrestled with this mess for many years decades ago, which left me not coming out until I was 27, dysfunctional and suicidal.
Hope this helps!

[ChadCoxRox]

ctroop3 welcome to GS!!! You should do an introduction thread and tell us about your journey so far. It will REALLY help you get better feedback and support.

[LeafBlade]

Congratulations!

and glad to hear that you have your brother's support!