Signs of your homosexuality

[EvenOlderButWiser]

When I came out as gay everyone was shocked.

Now I've been out nearly 15 years and when I come out to new people, everyone is shocked.

Guess I'm just a straight kind of guy :biggrin:

ObW
X

[Iceblink]

One thing I often notice on this topic is a lot of guys talk as if femininity is the only thing that gives away your sexual orientation. There are other factors that do and one of the big ones is time. If you are 40 and have friends you have known since college and you have never mentioned having a girlfriend and avoid the topic of dating, you can almost be sure they are talking about it when you are not around. Same thing at work. If you've been working at someplace for years and never talk about girls or dating, while for everyone else the common break room topics are marriage, family, dating, and their love life, you can be pretty certain they are wondering and there is a good chance they've discussed it out of your presence and it doesn't matter how masculine you are. Most of the world is too polite to ask you directly, but they're not so polite they won't discuss it behind your back. When you avoid the typical discussions of day to day life, you are not really fooling people but are sending a ping of peculiarity to people. People are nosy and as someone who has often been the token out-gay person at work, believe when I say, we're the ones people are going to come and try to get our opinions about you.

[meninlove]

I agree Iceblink, another way to get found out is by others noticing your eyes always tracking to the nearest nice butt.
Or like this,
Jane: 'Oh hi Doug how's your day?'
Doug: 'I am not!'
*cracking up*

...or people notice you always blush at the end of The Flintstones theme song.

[Bhp91126]

From the day I was old enough to remember until the day that my father passed away (a few years ago) he was continually disappointed and disgusted by my preferences and a firm believer that if he berated me and humiliated me long and hard enough, I would change my ways.

Some of his complaints included....

Taste in music, tv shows, movies and idols.
Effeminate gestures.
Emotional closeness with my twin sister.
Lack of interest in sports.
Lack of interest in "manly" activities such as car repair, power tools, etc.
My choice in friends (mostly girls) and play games (ie: I didn't like "boy toys".)
My dislike for roughhousing.
The ease with which I would cry when hurt or upset.

The list is very long and extensive. That's really just the tip of the iceberg.

So, will you go and piss on his grave on Sunday?

Jk, but, wow, what a nightmare that must have been. No wonder you crave men's love and affection.

My own father always had a whiff of being disappointed in me growing up, but not often put it in words. And I stopped caring about his approval a long time ago.

[Iceblink]

[davearoo]

It always irks me a little when somebody says, "I always knew" based on various 'signs' they saw earlier in a person's life.

All this statement amounts to is playing into the various stereotypes about what gays are like. Popular culture has yet to fully embrace the idea that plenty of gay guys are not flamboyant femmes.

[Uneunsae]

It always irks me a little when somebody says, "I always knew" based on various 'signs' they saw earlier in a person's life.

All this statement amounts to is playing into the various stereotypes about what gays are like. Popular culture has yet to fully embrace the idea that plenty of gay guys are not flamboyant femmes.

Yes, I feel this stereotype is why many gay men dislike me. They feel that I am furthering the stereotype.

But I am just being myself and that's all.

I also wish the stereotypes would change. Do you think it will change, now that gay marriage is becoming recognized in more states? It seems to make gay people more visible, especially gay families. So maybe straight people can see that we're not much different?

[BigFrank]

I'm not out to anyone, so I've never had anyone say "I knew it!". However, my mother has, on more than one occasion, told me she wouldn't care if I was gay. Makes me wonder if I'm giving off any vibes.

[polfsky]

My mannerisms were obvious. I got bullied since I was young (in elementary school). The way I talk also gives it away. It's not hard to spot me.

And I dislike that about myself. :-( I don't want to appear feminine but it's natural for me this way.

[TwisttheLeaf]

So, will you go and piss on his grave on Sunday?

Jk, but, wow, what a nightmare that must have been. No wonder you crave men's love and affection.

My own father always had a whiff of being disappointed in me growing up, but not often put it in words. And I stopped caring about his approval a long time ago.

To be honest? It wasn't until Gideon that I craved love and affection. I enjoyed sex with men, but I was -hell bent- on NOT ever being in a relationship or allowing any type of sexual encounter or otherwise that would compromise my independence.

(I emancipated at 16 and was fiercely protective of that independence.)

When I met Gideon, I -fought- falling for him for a long time. The man has the patience of a saint, yeah?