Scared and Confused. Please help
07-05-2014, 04:28 AM
Your gut is saying something - perhaps you should put the question to him directly - you know him and know when he is lying.
I get that its hard to put a person through the inquisition, however this list of 'evidence' needs to be explained for your peace of mind.
If he can't or won't then you may need to consider what the future holds for 'us' as in your relationship.
My last relationship I ignored a lot of evidence, always explaining it away or flat denying it. At the end he left the browser open on the computer with his email account open. The subjects of a few got my interest and I discovered he had ads in all sorts of sites for hook-ups. Worst, he had had many hook-ups.
To be conservative, we will say ten a year... out of the 14 years we were together he had only been doing that for the last 12 years.
Like you I had 'evidence' that was circumstantial for 12 long years. Unlike you I didn't seek out an opinion, nor did anyone tell me point blank to start asking him the questions needed answered.
If I had it may have saved me a lot of time, money, energy and other stuff.
I know 11 years is a long time to be with a person, so its going to hurt you no matter if you do ask him or not. You will sit there and stew on this 'stuff' that is going on. I can't tell you what he is doing, nor can anyone else. He and only he can answer these questions, and for the sake of a decade, he should do the proper thing and tell you.
Good luck.
I get that its hard to put a person through the inquisition, however this list of 'evidence' needs to be explained for your peace of mind.
If he can't or won't then you may need to consider what the future holds for 'us' as in your relationship.
My last relationship I ignored a lot of evidence, always explaining it away or flat denying it. At the end he left the browser open on the computer with his email account open. The subjects of a few got my interest and I discovered he had ads in all sorts of sites for hook-ups. Worst, he had had many hook-ups.
To be conservative, we will say ten a year... out of the 14 years we were together he had only been doing that for the last 12 years.
Like you I had 'evidence' that was circumstantial for 12 long years. Unlike you I didn't seek out an opinion, nor did anyone tell me point blank to start asking him the questions needed answered.
If I had it may have saved me a lot of time, money, energy and other stuff.
I know 11 years is a long time to be with a person, so its going to hurt you no matter if you do ask him or not. You will sit there and stew on this 'stuff' that is going on. I can't tell you what he is doing, nor can anyone else. He and only he can answer these questions, and for the sake of a decade, he should do the proper thing and tell you.
Good luck.
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