My boyfriends Ex

[Gideon]

Oh and one more thing....when -Twist- does the "Back off bitch, he's mine" thing? I absolutely LOVE it.

I wouldn't ever purposely make him jealous because jealousy means he feels threatened or insecure and that is not cool, but that possessiveness that makes him stand up and protect what's his? Love that shit....

[Adam]

Hmm, in my relationships, we've always made a rule of no contact with the ex. Works for me. They aren't "just friends." They are people with a romantic history. But I know plenty of people disagree with me. You have figure out what works best for you.

I totally agree with you. When my BF and I first moved in together, one of his exes suddenly reappeared, all flirty and cutesy. Did I handle it well? Um...no. And after a few weeks, we made the same agreement - exes stay in the past. Works for me, too.

[ChadCoxRox]

Flaunting seemingly "natural chemistry" with an ex where the current BF (and others) can see it is rude and trying to hide it but enjoy it none-the-less is even worse. I'd ask the dude straight out if I've got some sort of misunderstanding, right in front of my BF, and state in no uncertain terms I'm already committed to the cooling the jets by whatever means necessary.

[MikeW]

Just goes to show how people can read the same thing, and take different parts from it.

The OP (from what I read) didn't mentioned 'getting played' by them both.

THis is what I took from it.

[snip]

According to the bolded parts above, Smilio is not happy with the friendship that is happening with his boyfriend and his past fuck-buddy.

One part I bolded, Smilio says that his boyfriend didn't know what was going on, so at that point, he couldn't have been playing him if he didn't even know what was going on. This part could also give some help. According to the post, Smilio's friend also saw what was going on. This friend can support/back-up what Smilio is seeing, which would show that Smilio is not acting like a jealous boyfriend.

Well your point about how we all read things differently is well taken.

This is what I focused on:

my boyfriend has a good laugh with him and jokes around about certain past things in front of me that he knows makes me really uncomfortable.

and my boyfriend is way to keen to defend him and talk to him and create possible social occasions with him

That, to me, is beyond insensitive. It is deliberate, rude and frankly indefensible. Not something I'd tolerate in a relationship.

[Uneunsae]

Yeah I agree with Twist and Gideon that you should have said something. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from saying something. It probably would have began with, "Excuse me..."

[Anocxu]

Remember years ago when you could put two drops of Visine in someone's wine glass and they would end up with diarrhea for a week?....

I miss the old Visine formula... :-(

[OkayOkay]

hit that bitch with a BRICK!!!


lol just kidding.

You have very good advice here, so I have nothing more to add. Talk to your boyfriend.

[Ryocchi]

If any of my exes tried to make the moves on me knowing I have a boyfriend or would disrespect him in front of me, I would clearly tell him to back off, we can be friends but I'm not really touchy with my friends, even less with my ex, so the very least I expect from my boyfriend is to give me my place and tell off when a friend of him is disrespecting me before I have to do it.

[East]

It sounds to me as though your BFs ex is deliberately playing games and trying to drive a wedge between you......

I had a situation that was similar with my current boyfriend of almost 29 years (soon to be husband)...and his ex. It was maybe four months after we met and I never objected to him or his friends in any way ...including his ex...but then the asswipe ex decided to play games and invited me and my BF to a large gathering at a restaurant that he organized....

Poor thing...half of his friends were clearly uncomfortable with his plan and I pretended not to notice for the first hour.....and I was embarrassed for him because it was so tacky and meangirlish.....

His plan was to tell stories about their (2 month) relationship and have everyone ooooh and awww in unison and my BF was clearly uncomfortable which was finally the thing that pissed me off because he is awkward in large groups and I got up and told my boyfriend in front of all of them quite calmly that I could wipe the floor with all of their sorry asses but I would have to stoop too low to do it and they weren't worth the effort but if he needed me to he was worth the effort so just say the word....and I told him I was leaving and he could come with me or not...but I didn't want to see or hear from any of them again and if he did he might as well stay there and enjoy the rest of his meal.

He joined me a few moments later.

I got an apology from many of them in the years that followed. I pretended I didn't even remember what they were talking about. I actually got one from mr asswipe ex too who came to me many years later "concerned he had caused problems" LMAO...concerned my ass....he is the the guy who starts fires and likes to watch them burn but I guess he wasn't really a self aware person ...and instead of being gracious I told him that in the future when he makes an enemy...try to make an attempt to know who they are....because if he had any clue who I was he would NOT be sitting here saying that to me....and I also smiled and reminded him to make no mistake...we are enemies.

For the OP...when someone shows you who they are.....don't forget it.

[OkayOkay]

^ poor thing. He TRIED it. lol

I have to admit, people like that are pathetic and amusing at the same time.