I do know the other guy he chatted to is a gay friend from his university days. Not that I'm concerned about who he spoke to, but maybe it is just the nature of their friendship.
Thanks everybody for your input so far. I really appreciate it the detailed answers.
•
I wouldn't be with anyone who said those things about me. A good indicator of a person's personality is how they behave when they think no one's watching.
•
Posts: 4,635
Threads: 45
Joined: May 2014
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Sagittarius
Mood:
Dump the mofo.
If he can talk about you in that way, he can easily fast talk his way out of it, especially since you do not seem to have the strength of your convictions. Joke or not, no one should be spoken of in that way. I think you are being played for a fool.
I bid NO Trump!
•
Im probably just going to observe him for a while before I make a decision...
•
I'm going to give you the reply I post on many threads.. If you want to know why someone else said or did something, the only way to find out is by asking them.
For you, this would involve confessing what you did and accepting the consequences.
There isn't any other way to find out where you stand with him.
•
Posts: 1,323
Threads: 6
Joined: Jul 2010
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Capricorn
Mood: None
It could be that he was talking to his friend about how much better off financially you are, than his previous boyfriend who constantly mooched off of him. He might have been comparing you to his previous boyfriend (the moocher).
I'd start my investigation by asking your boyfriend about his previous relationship/s. Find out if any of them were moochers.
•
#1. Thank you for recognizing that snooping creates distrust that works against a healthy relationship.
#2. Thank you for not trying to rationalize your snooping to try to make it look as if you'd done nothing wrong.
Maybe this is a lesson you won't forget. It's a safe assumption the two of you haven't been together long enough to have built up the trust and honesty that really comes over time. If you'd been in a healthy relationship with this guy for a few years and found that you'd react the same way I would.... and laugh because you'd know he was lying to the guy he was talking to and maybe leaving it on his phone for you to find it and get your stirred up.
You're in a sticky situation and you put yourself in it. I know no good advice to give except to learn from this.
Good luck.
•
Hmmm...
I see multiple reasons for why that conversation was there.
#1 Serious. He's only with you because you provide him with iPhones and whatnot.
#2 Joke. Maybe it's a joke you just got the wrong end of? I mean, I could totally see myself joking about why I'm with my husbear. I could say that I'm only with him because he'll provide me with a big home and nice jacuuzis and all I have to do is blow him once a week. I'd probably never write it though, for fear of my husbear seeing it and being hurt by it.
#3 Trap. Maybe the other posters were on to something (wasn't it Cellar?). Maybe it's a trap to see if you really trust him. Do you remember the date of the conversation? If he set it up seconds before giving you the phone, that could indicate if it was a trap.
#4 Fitting in. Maybe the conversation is with a guy, who he feels a need to fit in with. In which case he will deny being attracted to you, because you're a fat white guy (just an example!) and he knows this guy would look down upon him if he willingly slept with a fat white guy, without having some ulterior motive.
Either way, the damage is done. If he's an abussive lying scumbag, then talking to him about it will not solve the issue, as he will just cry and confess to whatever you want him to, so you'll forgive him and he can continue abusing the hell out of your wallet.
Since he's not the boss and since he's financially independant of you, I don't really see the message as being serious or ill-intended anyway. Plus he gave you the phone. He wouldn't have if he knew there was something nasty on there.
Just talk to him, seriously. I'm sure there's a good explanaition.
•