11-05-2014, 06:29 AM
Hey everyone, so I'm just going to put all the information out there about what I'm dealing with and hopefully someone might be able to help me with this situation. 
I'm sorry for the length but I really wanted to get most of the details in so I could give the most thorough description of it.
Basically about almost 4 months ago I met this guy through mutual friends at my friends house. I was staying at my friend's house for a couple days and after that I was going to go back home for the rest of the summer, which is a while away. I will honestly say the first time I saw him I was extremely attracted to him, but that's all it was and I didn't even think to do anything. We were all hanging out and having a good time drinking and socializing. I didn't get to talk to him too much that night but he seemed like a pretty cool guy. After that night I went back home for the remainder of the summer, until I would go back up to start my next semester in college. In that time I thought about him occasionally but not enough to consider it anything but a small crush. When the school year started again I moved back up, where all my friends and also where he was. Turns out he lived in the same apartment complex as me, and not too far away at all. Eventually I saw him on campus, and he was very cool and seemed interested in talking to me. During one of the times I saw him, I asked if he was heading home and he offered me a ride. I rode home with him and we talked a bit and when we got home he offered to give me rides anytime I needed them when he could, so I asked for his number. He was happy to give it to me and even texted me a bit after I went inside. At this point I was really starting to like him. We had a fair amount of mutual interests, and the conversations we had were very engaging and I could tell we were both enjoying talking to each other. Since we lived close we'd occasionally hang out and talk or play video games, etc., but when we did, he seemed like he was really into me as well. I told my best friend (who I am out to) how much I liked him and she found out through his best friend that he wasn't sure if he was gay or not. It apparently was something of speculation between his friends as well. I did find out that he had one girlfriend before but he is single now but rarely ever speaks of her, or about girls in general. As the school year went on, we continued to ride together to school and my attraction and interest grew more and more. I heard through my friend that be asked if I was gay behind my back, almost as if he was curious. After that I decided it would be the perfect time to tell him, as I wanted to find an appropriate time and I didn't mind him knowing. I actually wanted him to know, in case he was somehow into me but wasn't sure to do anything. I mustered up the courage to tell him one day on the way to school, and he took it really well. I knew he was an open-minded person and wasn't that worried about how he would react. He was really nice about it and said he was happy I confided in him enough to tell him. He even offered to pick me back up from school that day when I was finished. The reason I am so confused is because I can't tell if he is interested in me or not. Some days he will be really nice and sweet, and do things like send lots of smiley faces and say "we should hang out!", but I feel like if he really liked me, he would make more of an effort to actually do something with me. I don't know if I should continue to pursue him or just assume that he doesn't like me back in that way.
Now that I've explained the situation, I just want to assert how much I like him and how confused I am about it. I can honestly say that this is the most intense, passionate crush I've ever had, and there are many times I wonder if it is more than that. Recently I've found myself thinking about him daily, and many times throughout the day. If I see him on campus or even if I see that he texted me my heart drops and I get visibly nervous for a couple of seconds. I don't know if this is because I've been feeling lonely recently and he is someone who I would love in my life as a boyfriend, or if I really have some time of "love" for him. Sometimes I feel as if Cupid literally struck me with an arrow and he was the first one I saw. I've already thought about the idea of us being together, and it makes me so happy I try not to overindulge in the thought of it. I hate to have these intense feelings which amount to nothing, because I'm sure I'd be crushed. But if nothing that I desire would happen between us, I still would like to have him in my life as a friend.
So what should I do? I don't want to sacrifice our friendship by telling him how I feel, but at the same time my feelings grow more and more for him, and I feel like doing anything in my power to get the chance of being with him would be worth it.
I'm sorry for the length but I really wanted to get most of the details in so I could give the most thorough description of it. Basically about almost 4 months ago I met this guy through mutual friends at my friends house. I was staying at my friend's house for a couple days and after that I was going to go back home for the rest of the summer, which is a while away. I will honestly say the first time I saw him I was extremely attracted to him, but that's all it was and I didn't even think to do anything. We were all hanging out and having a good time drinking and socializing. I didn't get to talk to him too much that night but he seemed like a pretty cool guy. After that night I went back home for the remainder of the summer, until I would go back up to start my next semester in college. In that time I thought about him occasionally but not enough to consider it anything but a small crush. When the school year started again I moved back up, where all my friends and also where he was. Turns out he lived in the same apartment complex as me, and not too far away at all. Eventually I saw him on campus, and he was very cool and seemed interested in talking to me. During one of the times I saw him, I asked if he was heading home and he offered me a ride. I rode home with him and we talked a bit and when we got home he offered to give me rides anytime I needed them when he could, so I asked for his number. He was happy to give it to me and even texted me a bit after I went inside. At this point I was really starting to like him. We had a fair amount of mutual interests, and the conversations we had were very engaging and I could tell we were both enjoying talking to each other. Since we lived close we'd occasionally hang out and talk or play video games, etc., but when we did, he seemed like he was really into me as well. I told my best friend (who I am out to) how much I liked him and she found out through his best friend that he wasn't sure if he was gay or not. It apparently was something of speculation between his friends as well. I did find out that he had one girlfriend before but he is single now but rarely ever speaks of her, or about girls in general. As the school year went on, we continued to ride together to school and my attraction and interest grew more and more. I heard through my friend that be asked if I was gay behind my back, almost as if he was curious. After that I decided it would be the perfect time to tell him, as I wanted to find an appropriate time and I didn't mind him knowing. I actually wanted him to know, in case he was somehow into me but wasn't sure to do anything. I mustered up the courage to tell him one day on the way to school, and he took it really well. I knew he was an open-minded person and wasn't that worried about how he would react. He was really nice about it and said he was happy I confided in him enough to tell him. He even offered to pick me back up from school that day when I was finished. The reason I am so confused is because I can't tell if he is interested in me or not. Some days he will be really nice and sweet, and do things like send lots of smiley faces and say "we should hang out!", but I feel like if he really liked me, he would make more of an effort to actually do something with me. I don't know if I should continue to pursue him or just assume that he doesn't like me back in that way.
Now that I've explained the situation, I just want to assert how much I like him and how confused I am about it. I can honestly say that this is the most intense, passionate crush I've ever had, and there are many times I wonder if it is more than that. Recently I've found myself thinking about him daily, and many times throughout the day. If I see him on campus or even if I see that he texted me my heart drops and I get visibly nervous for a couple of seconds. I don't know if this is because I've been feeling lonely recently and he is someone who I would love in my life as a boyfriend, or if I really have some time of "love" for him. Sometimes I feel as if Cupid literally struck me with an arrow and he was the first one I saw. I've already thought about the idea of us being together, and it makes me so happy I try not to overindulge in the thought of it. I hate to have these intense feelings which amount to nothing, because I'm sure I'd be crushed. But if nothing that I desire would happen between us, I still would like to have him in my life as a friend.
So what should I do? I don't want to sacrifice our friendship by telling him how I feel, but at the same time my feelings grow more and more for him, and I feel like doing anything in my power to get the chance of being with him would be worth it.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
