Confusion over a woman when I'm gay

[Cuddly]

that's bullshit. you hear this from women, for whom, as scientific research has pointed out, sexuality does tend to be more fluid, or choice-dependent.

for men, however, it is not so. men are exceptionally stable as far as sexual orientation goes. the age at which they discover their sexuality might differ between different men and that might create an illusion of fluidity. but it really isn't fluid at all.

also, some people have this i-want-to-be-unique syndrome, aka i-don't-want-to-be-thrown-into-some-box and that extends to their refuting stable sexual orientation and preaching the fluidity angle. which only proves they have an obsession with being seen unique and have no real understanding of human sexuality at all.

Interesting. Do you have sources for that or are they just your own perception and deduction? I'd like to see some concrete facts on straight gay and bisexual physiological differences, but I've never found anything real.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Orientation wise? Dude, sometimes it's just not about men and women, it's about -people-.

As for this specific woman? She's in a relationship. Preserve your friendship, man.

[Virge]

Orientation wise? Dude, sometimes it's just not about men and women, it's about -people-.

As for this specific woman? She's in a relationship. Preserve your friendship, man.

THANKS TWISTER.....

I took hell in here a few months back by saying that. I don't really consider myself "gay" because I am attracted to men and women....

Why am I in a monogamous relationship with a man????

Because he's "all that." Because he's who he is and what he is. To me he's practically a god like the ancient ones... smart, kind, loving, considerate, wise, strong, gentle, understanding ...and a hell of a lot of fun to look at clothed or naked.... and he smells great too. hahahaha!

[meridannight]

Interesting. Do you have sources for that or are they just your own perception and deduction? I'd like to see some concrete facts on straight gay and bisexual physiological differences, but I've never found anything real.

what kind of physiological differences do you mean there? physiologically we're all humans. we all have kidneys, blood circulation, pacemaker signals for heartbeat...we all have great physiological overlap as being humans. there are also differences, different enzymatic presence/absence, different neural activity patterns for certain same things, etc. even though there is physiological overlap, we are not a copy and paste of each other either, not genetically and not physiologically. to get into these differences here is to type out whole sections from medical books.

but that's not what i meant. i was talking about fluidity of sexual orientation within the same person. that can happen in adolescence, when the hormones first kick in, young people on average discriminate less on who they have sex with (guys experimenting with one another is an example). but after adolescence they settle into a stable sexual orientation, heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

for females it is said to be different. science has found evidence supporting it. i am not an expert on female sexuality however. i've only come across this when reading texts on male homosexuality, or sexuality in general. you're gonna have to research the subject yourself if female sexuality interests you.

APA

and it is also important to differentiate between what is sexual behavior and what is a sexual orientation. gay man marrying a woman because he wants to be heterosexual and conform to his parents'/society's ideal, doesn't have a fluid sexual orientation. he's still gay (or do you think that makes him heterosexual?). then there's prisons. it is no secret that male prisoners engage in sex with other prisoners. it's called situational homosexuality is scientific texts, and it does not reflect on a person's sexual orientation. after release, the studies have found those guys always revert back to heterosexuality and do not identify themselves as homosexual. they are straight, but for total lack of female company, they had to find an outlet for their sexual desire where they could find it, which was with other men. same goes for all male educational institutions (this was so in history).

fluidity in sexual behavior has been observed in both sexes. i don't contest that. and there is a degree to which an individual can be fluid in this sense, with some being not fluid at all. but sexual orientation is exceptionally stable. at least among men. if it were fluid we'd have men changing to identify as homosexual, then heterosexual, then reverting back to homosexuality, again to identify as heterosexual, and maybe bisexual, and so on and on ad infinitum. do you see anybody doing that?

i think people confuse these things, and a lot of people are incapable of differentiating between sexual acts/behavior and sexual orientation. and it creates an impression as if one individual's sexual orientation is all over the map. which is not so. science has found no adequate evidence sexual orientation can change or be changed. (otherwise just keep sending gays to those conversion therapy camps to make them straight. because if sexuality is fluid it should be doable). the scientific research on this subject is quite prolific and i recommend you look it up.

i can quote books, and research papers, but it will take hours for me to go through my library to find the right passages, texts. i'm not in the mood to do that right now. if you're interested i can look it up some time when i have time and/or i can provide you with book recommendations on the subject.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

There are have been two women who turned my head, three if we include Meryl Streep. The two were both lesbians, thus a bit on the masculine side... nothing ever came of it because they had no interest, but the fact remains that there are women in the world that could unbend this man.

Research suggests that most people fall on a scale of bisexuality. For instance I figure I'm something like 90-95% gay with the other 10-5% being totally straight. I identify as 100% gay because I have only been in relationships with men, and aside from two women, my interests lie with the male species.

It happens a lot more than most people think. To top it off, it is possible for gay men to enter into a straight relationship, functioning within nominal parameters sufficiently to produce offspring and pretty much convince everyone else they are hetero. Thus the shock when they come out and everything things they just recent choose to be gay. Instead of them just deciding now is a good time to stop living the lie.