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I'm a : Single Gay Man
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It depends on 'feelings'. If it's just finding someone else attractive, that's normal... When my parents were happily married that didn't stop my Mum from finding Michael Ball attractive (don't worry if you don't know who that is). But my Mum knew nothing could ever happen between them because she loved my Dad and Michael Ball was too busy singing west end songs on morning television.
If however you're developing actual feelings for someone else then you need to stop for a minute. It sounds like your relationship with your fiancé might have slowed down a little/ the initial intensity of the relationship has fizzled (I might be wrong but I'm just guessing from what you've said). If so you need to focus on maintaining your relationship by perking it up a bit. Are you spending enough time together (or even too much?). Do you get to enjoy random days out with each other, are you still maintaining a happy sex life? It could be that if the intensity is fizzling then another guy is going to seem more appealing, but if you want to marry your partner then it's going to take a little work, just like all relationships.
I once had a similar situation and it's because me and my ex went from seeing each other every day to once every two weeks, whilst I was suddenly working 40 hours a week with a guy who was hot as. We flirted a little but I realised my ex was more caring and genuine than the other guy could ever be.
I hope this helps?
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.
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You're 19 and getting married. And now the grass is seeming greener elsewhere. Go watch Judge Judy. She'll have the answers you need.
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First, you can't always trust feelings.
Second, I would be curious to know how long you have been together and how well you know each other.
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You're getting married at 19? Married? Why??? How long have you known this person? Have you had sex yet? How old is the other person?
If you are having mixed feelings about your fiancé it might be you gut/instinct trying to tell you this might not be the right course of action. Why not listen to your gut and slow down? Why not just live together and see where it goes?
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Posts: 12,280
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I'm a : Single Gay Man
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Marriage at such a young age.....doesn't sound well, I have to be honest. Your feelings may be strong and true, but the maturity to carry on a marriage may not be there. Who knows, though, you may prove me wrong.
Sorry, I had to put that there.
Uhm, feelings for someone else? Romantic, strong feelings? Just a crush?
Having them is not a strange thing, nothing out of this world, but what will you do about it is what counts. If you are to be married those need to be put to rest.
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I thought I was ready to be married when I was your age as well, but looking back now at 36, I can only laugh. I guess it's a good thing it wasn't legal back then (for me), or I probably would have made a terrible mistake.
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Marriage. What a laugh. Bit like religion.
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