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Is this true of gay relationships?
#11
Well, not to put too fine a point on it, he's going to have sex with other guys ,without telling you, with or without your consent. It's up to you whether or not you want to accept that. It doesn't matter what other people think about this, or whether they'd be OK with it. The question is whether YOU are OK with it.

Lex
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#12
For heteros, i could say that they are becoming like "gays" here in Istanbul, most of my female friends' boyfriends cheat on them.

And for myself, i would prefer a monogamous relationship, but i am no jealous or strict, if he wants to be with others, i let him be. i would want the loyalty to be natural, not by pushing.
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#13
koseku Wrote:For heteros, i could say that they are becoming like "gays" here in Istanbul, most of my female friends' boyfriends cheat on them.

And for myself, i would prefer a monogamous relationship, but i am no jealous or strict, if he wants to be with others, i let him be. i would want the loyalty to be natural, not by pushing.

I think people cheat on each other everywhere in the world it seems. If I were to go the open route though...I think I would make them share lol But I don't think it is very loyal to cheat on your boyfriend....
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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#14
Lexington Wrote:Well, not to put too fine a point on it, he's going to have sex with other guys ,without telling you, with or without your consent. It's up to you whether or not you want to accept that. It doesn't matter what other people think about this, or whether they'd be OK with it. The question is whether YOU are OK with it.

Lex

Lex, thank you. I've just lived sheltered a long time and just haven't built up my confidence and I am often wondering what others would do, I suppose to see other perspectives. At this point, I've learned I do not want to control someone else's sexuality. I'd be ok with open now, I would just like to be in the loop and hate the way all this started.
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#15
axle2152 Wrote:I think people cheat on each other everywhere in the world it seems. If I were to go the open route though...I think I would make them share lol But I don't think it is very loyal to cheat on your boyfriend....

Well even being gay is an excuse to end a relationship, since we cant marry, it seems like gays are free to start or end a relationship by themselves. You can't do this in a legal marriage this easily. I wish i were hetero lol, still they are more loyal and hard to end the relationship
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#16
Um well,
personally if I were with someone that I accepted as my partner and they cheated on me it would be over. Not because "oh they cheated on me and broke my heart blah.." but because your body is mine and you gave it to someone else (that is painful) however, you show that you don't care enough about me to remain mine and by your actions you risk my physical and emotional health for a "fling". Id simply say "well I hope he was worth it.". It would be near impossible to keep a healthy relationship from that point on you would doubt them and thus there would be no trust.

THE ONLY chance I would remain with them is if they INFORMED ME (if I found out on my own there would be 0 chance) but they told me about it, could convince me how sorry they was I would think about it, weigh the circumstances and make a gut call. But really if someone truely loves you they would not cheat, if for nothing else they would not want you to come to harm either by heartbreak or potential std's both of which they accept as ok if they cheat on you. (that is very good grounds for ending the relationship)
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#17
koseku Wrote:For heteros, i could say that they are becoming like "gays" here in Istanbul, most of my female friends' boyfriends cheat on them.

And for myself, i would prefer a monogamous relationship, but i am no jealous or strict, if he wants to be with others, i let him be. i would want the loyalty to be natural, not by pushing.

Would you be ok if he did it without telling you? Would you break up?
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#18
Pacific Wrote:Would you be ok if he did it without telling you? Would you break up?

It depends, if he has an acceptable reason i would consider not breaking up, but if he continues to cheat on me again and again, i would break up.
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#19
koseku Wrote:Well even being gay is an excuse to end a relationship, since we cant marry, it seems like gays are free to start or end a relationship by themselves. You can't do this in a legal marriage this easily. I wish i were hetero lol, still they are more loyal and hard to end the relationship

Well hopefully that will change. I never thought it would be legalized so quickly in the US...and ironic that in the state I live in (NC) is trying to block gay couples from being married. I really don't see what their issue is with it other than THEY don't believe in it but two guys getting married doesn't really effect them. Hack back in the 50's black people couldn't use the same bathroom, I consider it to be of the same type of discrimination.

But for me, on a personal level while it isn't the popular choice, I really put forth a lot of effort into things, sometimes it is futile and with the wrong guys. I mean what is the point to be in a relationship if you're going to end up cheating and then leaving them after a few months, at that point I would think it would be better to just hook or do the whole "friends with benefits."

I might have a totally screwball point of view for not having the experience in this area, it is more of a philosophy.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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#20
axle2152 Wrote:Well hopefully that will change. I never thought it would be legalized so quickly in the US...and ironic that in the state I live in (NC) is trying to block gay couples from being married. I really don't see what their issue is with it other than THEY don't believe in it but two guys getting married doesn't really effect them. Hack back in the 50's black people couldn't use the same bathroom, I consider it to be of the same type of discrimination.

But for me, on a personal level while it isn't the popular choice, I really put forth a lot of effort into things, sometimes it is futile and with the wrong guys. I mean what is the point to be in a relationship if you're going to end up cheating and then leaving them after a few months, at that point I would think it would be better to just hook or do the whole "friends with benefits."

I might have a totally screwball point of view for not having the experience in this area, it is more of a philosophy.

Well im a bit experienced i can agree with you, there is no need to give your partner any hope if you are going to break up so easily... I like your philosophy Wink
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