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I wanted to ask if anyone has ever had depression bad enough that they had thoughts of suicide or tried committing suicide. Right now I'm having a very difficult time recovering because I have suffered for so long, and now that I want to cry at night I can't. It was my go to thing and now I can't do it so I don't know what to do. Have you ever had to battle yourself like this? And have you been able to recover? If so, please let me know how.
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Have you figured the reason behind your depression?
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^I think that's an important question. Like, what's wrong?
I've only had what I think to be depression, to the extent of questioning the seaming pointlessness of everything. Why wake up? Why do all of these things in life that are deemed valuable, when to me, they are not? Where is the room for what I value? Where does my lifestyle fit?
I think that in most modern living, there is a disconnect between our survival and our work. Life is increasingly social, and most are not going to work with the purpose of hitting up the grocery store to buy that one banana that will save us from starvation. We actually don't know why we're going, but we hope it's because we enjoy our job.
Yet if we were left to roam and survive in a more primitive way, we'd understand the passion and excitement of life and why we "work".
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Posts: 1,725
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Joined: Jun 2012
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Oh I know the cause of depression, and I have had it for a long time. I was in an inpatient facility for a week and currently undergoing outpatient therapy. Everything stems from lack of self-esteem and self worth, but there are a lot of triggers on top of that.
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Yes.
I have been in and out of clinical depression (major depressive disorder) since I was a teenager. Self esteme can be a cause, yes. But the fact is, it's also a chemical reaction in the brain. And once you've experienced clinical depression, the chance of it returning is greater. And with each return, the chance of it returning -again- becomes greater.
That said? With therapy (and in my case medication) I have not had a severe episode in.... it's been at least 6 years or more. I have ups and downs, but they are controlled. Like diabetes and many other illnesses, depression can be something you have to maintain your entire life. I still go to therapy, I still take medication, but I handle life much better now and am much happier in it.
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TwisttheLeaf Wrote:Yes.
I have been in and out of clinical depression (major depressive disorder) since I was a teenager. Self esteme can be a cause, yes. But the fact is, it's also a chemical reaction in the brain. And once you've experienced clinical depression, the chance of it returning is greater. And with each return, the chance of it returning -again- becomes greater.
That said? With therapy (and in my case medication) I have not had a severe episode in.... it's been at least 6 years or more. I have ups and downs, but they are controlled. Like diabetes and many other illnesses, depression can be something you have to maintain your entire life. I still go to therapy, I still take medication, but I handle life much better now and am much happier in it.
*Grins* I've been there to watch it all, yeah? It has been an amazing journey to be a part of, man. And I have to say...I am -SO- very proud of you and how far you've come in the last 8 years that we've been together.
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Posts: 1,725
Threads: 594
Joined: Jun 2012
Mood: None
TwisttheLeaf Wrote:Yes.
I have been in and out of clinical depression (major depressive disorder) since I was a teenager. Self esteme can be a cause, yes. But the fact is, it's also a chemical reaction in the brain. And once you've experienced clinical depression, the chance of it returning is greater. And with each return, the chance of it returning -again- becomes greater.
That said? With therapy (and in my case medication) I have not had a severe episode in.... it's been at least 6 years or more. I have ups and downs, but they are controlled. Like diabetes and many other illnesses, depression can be something you have to maintain your entire life. I still go to therapy, I still take medication, but I handle life much better now and am much happier in it.
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. My mother has bipolar disorder, and in the back of my mind I wonder if I'll find out that I'll be diagnosed with it as well. I'm glad your condition is under control, I just still feel pretty low and low energy right now. At the end of the day all I want is a good job, a place of my own, and a man to hold on to at night. I don't think that's asking too much, I've worked at it in my short lifetime.
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I have BPD which people seem to think they can make fun of me and then tell me to get a grip. Mental health is awful, id rather have cancer, some people may say thats a awful thing to say but hey im being honest.
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I've struggled with depression for about 12 years. I have no answer on recovery from your current circumstance as I feel very much the same. I have been in and out the system several times, took medications, nothing seems to work. I'm currently battling similar thoughts now. It is crippling, but as you, I hope to get through it one day. Mental health runs in my family and my sister has bipolar.
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starlight Wrote:I have BPD which people seem to think they can make fun of me and then tell me to get a grip. Mental health is awful, id rather have cancer, some people may say thats a awful thing to say but hey im being honest.
My sister always says this exact thing! And I don't think it awful her saying that. They have a way out. Bipolar you don't, its a constant threat, and not understood nor the sympathy given to those who have the likes of cancer.
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