Depression or when it gets too far

[Anonymous]

Thank you; however there are 2 people posting anonymously. Those two comments are from two different people, though I hope that other person is getting help. I am trying to move on myself and am currently undergoing treatment in a group setting.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Thank you; however there are 2 people posting anonymously. Those two comments are from two different people, though I hope that other person is getting help. I am trying to move on myself and am currently undergoing treatment in a group setting.

Ahh ok. I didn't know that. Thank you for letting me know.

Good luck on your treatments, and I hope that it helps you finding the balance that you need.

[Anonymous]

Things are still tough unfortunately, I went to visit one of my best friends and since then I haven't gone a day without thoughts of harming myself or committing suicide. This is 10 days straight now, I go to the doctor tomorrow but I'm still scared. Half the time I want to just end it, the other half I don't or I'm too exhausted to do anything. I don't even know why I'm writing here honestly, I think somewhere in me I just want to get better but I have no idea how to do it still.

[LJay]

To quote an oft used phrase, It gets better. You have gotten through the last ten days. That shows you are trying. Keep at it.

[Aquarius]

The most important thing for now is that you know you want to get better. "How".. that must be secondary for now. Let me repeat, the most important things is that you want to get better, focus on that desire and be aware that you can only get better by staying alive.

Then, get help asap. What are you afraid of? Yes, it requires some strength to go through this, but it can also be an interesting journey ahead.

You're the captain of this ship that's your life. Now there's stormy sea. So you just wanna sink the ship? No, you wanna go through the stormy sea into better times.

Good luck, I hope you will get better soon.

Be strong

[kindy64]

Things are still tough unfortunately, I went to visit one of my best friends and since then I haven't gone a day without thoughts of harming myself or committing suicide. This is 10 days straight now, I go to the doctor tomorrow but I'm still scared. Half the time I want to just end it, the other half I don't or I'm too exhausted to do anything. I don't even know why I'm writing here honestly, I think somewhere in me I just want to get better but I have no idea how to do it still.

You are doing the right thing by seeing a doctor.

First step is recognizing it's a problem, then having hope that it can get better. I've dealt with depression for the best several years, including wanting to kill myself several times. My "breakthrough" came when I started to not give a fuck what that voice inside my head was telling me. I literally told it to go fuck off. It quieted down a little after that. The more I do that, the less it affects my thoughts.

The inner critic is supposed to inform you of doubts, not be the main driver of your actions. The inner critic isn't you.

[Anonymous]

I find stuff difficult when you turn to people and they ignore you getting ignored is difficult but when you need to talk and you get ignored is upsetting. This is about anything and there is no excuse that people do not know what to say or they are busy as that is bullshit.

[Anonymous]

It is difficult, it lets you know who your real friends are. My (currently) former best friend I can't even talk to, granted it's because of him that my depression really set off and there are reasons for it, but it doesn't make it any easier. There's so many questions I have now about who is my friend, who will love me, am I capable of being loved and all I've been told is the cliche of you have to love yourself. It probably is the best advice, but it's immensely difficult if you've never really believed in it. I have no idea how long it'll take, but if I don't do something to myself before that I know I'll be "fixed".

[Anonymous]

Oh silly me, I forgot to add and for you too.

[InbetweenDreams]

Unfortunately people get worn down. I noticed that when several years ago had a pretty big trough of depression. People are busy and when I would want to talk sometimes they just had their own affairs to deal with. Of course I didn't see that point of view at the time and was like yourself a bit pissed off about them ignoring me when they simply couldn't "be the therapist." It's a two way street with friends. Friends are there to be friends and not to be one's personal therapist or crisis management. Not trying to sound harsh but it is sticky situation for everyone involved.

In hindsight I felt that a lot of issues with depression seemed to stem from being a little self-centered. I think being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes can help realize, not just that the world doesn't revolve around you -- that one is pretty worn out, but that we're in a struggle at times and even the happiest, most successful people can get knocked down a few pegs. You have to figure out what makes you happy and how to get it. If you say you can't do something you most likely won't do it. I think 90% of the time everyone's problems can't be fixed by changing their state of mind. No just thinking a happy thought doesn't fix depression but learning to change how you think, to learn to distract your thinking when you start having destructive thoughts is a good start, it isn't easy but if you drill that into your head and you seriously want to make the change it is certainly possible and how I for the most part conquered my issues with anxiety and depression...without meds. The other 10% do have serious issues, assume you fall into the 90%. No self doubt, more self-confidence and no self-loathing.

Hopefully I haven't veered too far off topic, it's a lot to follow upteen million threads and everything else in between.

I can go into a bit more detail with my dealings and hopefully it might help. One thing for sure in my case and a lot of cases people don't like hearing what they don't want to hear, sometimes the problem is with one's self and you're the cause and solution to it.

All that being said, my advice is to continue with getting help. Counseling and sometimes group therapy can help and can do the trick...without medication. I think it is important to note that medications probably aren't good for you over the long term and I would use them as a stepping stone to get yourself back to a better spot. In most cases anyway. Some people do and really must take them for a lifetime.

The other thing that really helps and might be something you might not want to do...exercise. I'm telling you, aside from doing drugs, nothing else boosts my mood more so than going for a long bike ride, run, etc... Now you don't have to go all crazy with it, just start with taking a walk through the park, experience nature.

Eating healthy and getting enough sleep really help too.

Ok, I think that covers most of what I wanted to say. Don't think everything here is going to magically or instantly cure depression but it will definitely help.