Teach me how to relax and open up

[BellyNel]

Hello all - hope all are well.

So for the past month or so, I've been opening up A BIT MORE - but online, though.

This is going to be long-winded - sorry! But I do get to the point.

What's the point of my post? Can someone teach me to just RELAX and open up?

I've been speaking to this guy on Twitter, who talks a lot about New York sports teams... He mentioned that if anyone was wondering, he was bisexual. Out of pure stupidity, privately messaged him and asked who asked if he was bi. I said " that people should stop bothering us". He said "us"? I said that I was gay, too. So that started this whole back and forth conversation about stupid stuff. One thing led to another, and then we started talking about sexual stuff. I offered him my email address to talk more easier. One day, I was walking around the city. I emailed him saying oh my God there are so many hot guys out here, that I got hard and needed to find some place to adjust myself. He said I should've taken a picture of myself getting hard. I was like... are you asking me to send you a picture of my penis. I said you first. Didn't think he would do so. An hour later, he emailed me a picture of his penis. And I said his was nice - so I emailed him a picture of mine. He said I had nothing to be ashamed of... lie! Long story short - I don't feel sexually attracted to him. His penis - well, not completely turned on by it - nice to look at though.

I am also a member of this website that specializes in men who love to lift and carry other men. Two guys have said they wanted to lift and carry me, because I am the perfect height and weight. One guy I've been in contact with on and off, both on the website, and by email. I had the day off after July 4th. Found the guts to ask him if he was available... TO MEET FOR COFFEE, not for a lift and carry. He said he was busy. Yesterday, he gave me his phone number to text him when I was ready to meet him. I looked up his email, and he's a FREAKING bodybuilder. No wonder he said he could easily carry me in his arms! Do I want to meet him after finding out all this? I guess. Way back in April, he said I should come to his house to be carried... I was deathly afraid, but wanted to, just for the experience.

My point: I am getting to the point now where I need to do MANY things: go take trips OUTSIDE of Manhattan, New York, meet strangers, talk to them, and eventually become friends with, and get the courage to maybe try a date. I am still not out to my parents, but I'm sure they suspect.

I really really really don't know why I'm afraid to try new things. My mouth says one thing, my heart says another, and my head says something else...

[Spellbound]

Go to a gay bar.

Have a couple of drinks, but only a couple.

Find somone you fancy.

Get laid.

Believe me, you'll be nicely relaxed...

[Vigilias]

Go to a gay bar.

Have a couple of drinks, but only a couple.

Find somone you fancy.

Get laid.

Believe me, you'll be nicely relaxed...

And when the alcohol wares off, what then?

[naitsirc]

[QUOTE=BellyNel;319640I am also a member of this website that specializes in men who love to lift and carry other men.[/QUOTE]

Okay sorry I got lost in the above part of your post. This has me intrigued, where do you get carried to, how are you carried, why are you carried, and so the list goes on.

As for the rest I agree you just need to relax and live your life without worrying too much about what other people think.

[BellyNel]

Hi naitsirc -

this site is called liftandcarry.ning.com - this site is for men who likes to lift and carry other men. There are many ways to lift and carry - thrown over a shoulder, draped across both shoulders - called a firemans carry, piggyback. and my favorite, though I've never done it before - cradle carried - the way the husband carries the wife over the threshold - except a guy carries the guy http://public.fotki.com/BeckyinAmherst/s..._1949.html

[Spellbound]

And when the alcohol wares off, what then?

Two drinks don't affect much, that's the point. The point is getting laid.

[naitsirc]

Thanks for the clarification, I have never heard of this before. Sounds like you can sneak in a secret cuddle.

[Kiid]

Go to a gay bar.

Have a couple of drinks, but only a couple.

Find somone you fancy.

Get laid.

Believe me, you'll be nicely relaxed...

Trust a Frenchie :p

I was going to suggest pot to relax but sometimes it's not good for social situations

[Kiid]

TBH continue as you are going slowly but steadily. Don't have to rush out of your shell.
If you go to fast something might frighten you back into you shell.

[TKC]

Hey bud,

What I've found worked for me with building confidence and opening us was "fake it 'till you make it". Go do something new, every day, that scares you - sometimes just a little scary, sometimes terrifying. Choose things that will help you build a skill set (being able to converse with strangers, speak in public, be comfortable with your body), but will never put you in danger. The more confidence you get in specialized scenarios, the more it bleeds over into everyday life.

For instance, for me, though I have a decent physique, I had a fair amount of body image issues - so I finally found some things to do that were completely safe, that only involved people outside of my normal circles and people I'd likely never see again, and that would give me the push to be comfortable being naked in front of other people. In Austin we have a naked yoga class and I did that a couple of times, then I competed in the air sex championship (like air guitar, but sex...in front of about 200 people), and finally I went out to our local nude beach. After that, not only was I ok with being naked in front of others, I was actually pretty keen on it ;0). AND, the confidence in that realm bled over into confidence speaking with strangers and generally trying new things.

TOTALLY worth the experience.