Does does sex outside relationship diminish the love between partners

[Partner]

Just curious.....but I'm not sure of the words. If a partner in a open relationship or not for that matter. Has a sexual relationship outside. Be it hook ups, a long standing hook up, or a long term sexual partner....why do I think the love between the partners is diminished? Assuming the couple had a healthy sex life. I am fairly smart but don't know how to express that without sounding like a Cinderella?

[HumbleTangerine]

I can only speak for myself, but I'm realizing that open relationships might not be for me, which I previously thought. If I was in an open relationship and I knew my boyfriend was having sex with other people I'd be fine as long as I KNEW for sure that it was purely physical. What would bother me a lot more would be any kind of emotional bonding, which is somewhat likely to occur eventually with repeated one-night-stands.

As for purely physical hook-ups, I wouldn't feel diminished in any way by that.

[Ekwarph]

Depends on the relationship. If the confidence between both partners is good enough, I think an open relationship is even healthier.
I'm scared of belonging to someone.

But it requires maturity...not sure I would be able right now.

[Undreamt]

If it gets emotional then its polyamory and not just an open relationship.

For me at least sex with others has saved our relationship, its been quite beneficial, its enjoyable and I've learnt quite a lot from it and made a number of friends out of it.

In general once someone becomes a friend we stop sleeping with them.

Honesty and communication are important, without them it would never have worked, we were also monogamous for 5 years befor we started fooling around.
Personally I think being open from the get go won't work but if your monogamous for a while first then start sleeping with others then it can be great.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

From what you are writing there, I think you are confusing cheating with open relationships. These two are not the same thing, in fact they are so dissimilar they might as well reside on opposite ends of the universe.

Cheating

It signifies that there is loss of respect for the relationship, if not the partner. Because cheating is an act of betrayal.

In your case this has been going on for 5 years. With random hook ups. Are you going to sit there and tell me there was no premeditation to directly and purposefully lie to you about where he was, where he was going, what he was doing when sure had to account for missing time.

There are good lies and bad lies. Lying to comfort your partner after something happens 'Everything will be ok' is because you are trying to comfort which is an act of love.

Lying to cover a selfish act (cheating is but one) is not an act of love. Each lie told in selfishness therefore diminishes the love, and the relationship and the respect and the trust and.... (sigh).... etc.




Open Relationships:

Open relationships operate under truth, under faith. Both parties consent they talk about it, some make up rules. These sorts of relationships often operate under respect for one another's privacy when it comes to the details of what happened. However neither hide that they went whenever, and neither makes up stories to hide when they are going out for fun. I understand that some even make schedules that include hook-up nights.

Under the right circumstances, if both parties in an open relationship want that, and can function with that, an open relationship can be as loving as a monogamous one.



Betrayal, lying, disrespect - loss of love
Honesty, truth, respectfulness - gain of love.

[CellarDweller]

I could never be in an open relationship, I'd always be wondering why he needs to go to someone else to get something that I can't give him, and why can't I give it to him?

If both partners are into the idea of an open relationship, it's very possible that love will not diminish. However, it is possible it will, and perhaps your partner will find new love with someone else.

[Joshular]

sex outside of a relationship diminishes the love between partners

EDIT: I didn't read the OP
-.-'

Why dose the love diminish?
Well because one partner is making love to another person.
I don't believe that open relationships can work the distance of a monogamous relationship.

[Chris]

I tried such a solution in the end of my three years lasting relationship. Finally we didn't have sex with anyone but even meeting other guys was the reason why we broke up. I realized that actually we were attempting to save our relationship when there was nothing to save. I think it was a sign of decadence, monotony and sex with others was supposed to create illusion that we could still be together. I do believe it can work for a long time but I don't think it's real love.

[Woollyhats]

It would for me.

This is something that is on an individual basis I believe. If an open relationships works, then fine. If not, then not fine. For me I'd get jealous, and have insecurity, which would be harmful to my relationship, but I can't project that to anyone else and say all open relationships are bad.

So would it for you? I think that's a more important question...

[747XL29]

I could never be in an open relationship, I'd always be wondering why he needs to go to someone else to get something that I can't give him, and why can't I give it to him?

If both partners are into the idea of an open relationship, it's very possible that love will not diminish. However, it is possible it will, and perhaps your partner will find new love with someone else.

This .... exactly my thoughts. Simply too complex, and to many variables that simply are not for me.