Taking the next step

[z3ro81]

Hi guys,

As some of you know, I finally took the plunge over the new year period, accepted my sexuality and came out to one of my longest friends (he was my best mate growing up and I had kind of lost touch, so telling him allowed me to get past that first hurdle and also rekindle a friendship i really missed).

I have arranged to meet up wth my mate again at some point (not sure when as he is busy with a new job at the moment and is hard to pin down - lol, not in that way, he is just recently married to his longterm bf).

Since I came out to him, things kind of feel like they have stalled and I am worried i will end up back in the same place of not really letting anyone know (although I am going to be coming out to another one of my close mates in a couple of weeks, as we have arranged to go out for drinks after work - I do not want to tell him in work yet as i am not happy with all the attention i MAY get in work).

The guy I came out to said he is more than happy for me to contact him whenever i want a chat, but he is bad a replying (he admited this to me last night after telling me that he accidentally deleted an email I sent him over the weekend), I also dont want to become a big burden on him by constantly contacting him and discussing things, he probably wont mind, but I always have the feeling that i am disturbing people when i contact them with issues and things.

So, the main point of this thread is to get advice on what to do next, in terms of actually going out and meeting more people and hopefully finding Mr Right along the way.

I don't have a circle of gay friends (aside from the person mentioned above) and I am not really a confident person, so going out alone does not really appeal.

As you can see from my profile, I am Manchester based, which obviously has a thriving gay community which i would like to explore, so I have no idea really where to start.

I have seen posts on here where people have suggested places to go to people in a similar situation, but these tend to be over in the states, so i was hoping some of the UK based guys could offer some help and advice.

Thanks

[Borg69]

You don't get Gay by telling people you're gay... you get gay by BEING gay.

Unfortunately you're going to have to bite the bullet and go out to these gay places on your own. You can either attempt to initiate conversation with people and make some friends, or ... the longer approach is attempt to make yourself appear approachable and hope people come up and talk to you.

This is going to take some effort on your part. Friends aren't going to drop out of the sky on your lap. GO!! Mingle! Socialize! Push your comfort zone a bit. It will pay off 100x. TALK to people. If someone shrugs you off, don't take it personally and go to the next one and talk to them.

You say:

So, the main point of this thread is to get advice on what to do next, in terms of actually going out and meeting more people and hopefully finding Mr Right along the way.

I don't have a circle of gay friends (aside from the person mentioned above) and I am not really a confident person, so going out alone does not really appeal.

As you can see from my profile, I am Manchester based, which obviously has a thriving gay community which i would like to explore, so I have no idea really where to start.

This is basically what I addressed. You have your own answers, plus what I suggested.

[Virge]

You don't see how the way you are thinking is your problem.


Statement A. "I don't have a circle of gay friends"

Statement B. "I am not really a confident person," (so)

Statement C. "going out alone does not really appeal."

A is caused by B
B is caused by A
C is a lame excuse for continue to do what you're doing wrong.

If you expect advice about how to sit on your butt and make no efforts to socialize in hopes o meeting "Mr Right" you'll be disappointed. Things don't happen that way except in fairy tales and movies.

[Bhp91126]

Manchester, UK has at least 2 glbt centers that help people with their coming out.

Google them, find something you're interested in and

get off your ass!

[oreosplz93]

Hi guys,


I have seen posts on here where people have suggested places to go to people in a similar situation, but these tend to be over in the states, so i was hoping some of the UK based guys could offer some help and advice.

Thanks

I would not know what to tell you about going out in the UK alone, but try it. I did it here in Whoville. it was awkward at first but I ended up making two friends. I hooked up with one too but thats a diff story lol But go try it You'll feel so scared but with three drinks you should be fine