I am sick of crushing on straight guys

[freelandia]

Enjoy your obsession. I've been obsessed with hunky husband for almost two decades. I love every minute of it.

[MisterTinkles]

I always laugh when I hear some guy say "I only have sex with straight men".......I almost crack a rib I laugh so hard. Honey.....if they are having sex with you, and you are a guy, then they are NOT straight!!!!!!


Sorry, just had to get that out there.



If you want some psychological offering here..............well, its not that you crush on straight guys, you just dont like how gay men are portrayed. Apparently you prefer the "manly" men, as opposed to the "effeminate" men. Therefore, the stereotypes you have set in the back of your mind take over when seeing a guy or talking to him. You apparently prefer the "straight" stereotype over the "gay" one.

No biggie. A lot of us do. But some of us seem to have an issue with it, as you do.

Now, MODERN men tend to be a lot less rigid when it comes to "the sexes". Even though a guy may be "straight" or date only women, that does not mean he wont find you attractive or interesting in "that way".

It is not that these guys have not "found themselves" or have "come out", it is just the fact that they have not found the right guy to be interested in. These MODERN men usually have no pre-conceived notions of who they want to date. They just prefer someone who is agreeable to their philosophies and way of being "open minded". Its not something they practice, thats just who they are.

So, crushing on "straight" guys may seem like a lost cause, but you never know who you will run across, who may find you someone worth getting to know.

Don't limit yourself to just trying to find a gay man........try just living and being happy with the people you meet. You never know...........some guy of one of the many guys you meet may have a best friend, brother, uncle, or cousin who they think you might get along with.

You can expand your horizons by going to some "gay" places too, but don't NOT stop meeting all the "straight" guys altogether.

You never know where that crush will end up.

[hank]

I am actually really moreattracted to less masculine men.

[swalter]

Hank, I'm surprised you're having such difficulty finding masculine gay guys. Houston is a pretty progressive city, and I'm pretty sure there's a sizable gay population. Do you ever go out to the bars (JR's, Rich's, etc)? What about Gay Rodeo? Does that passed through your area?

[hank]

Hank, I'm surprised you're having such difficulty finding masculine gay guys. Houston is a pretty progressive city, and I'm pretty sure there's a sizable gay population. Do you ever go out to the bars (JR's, Rich's, etc)? What about Gay Rodeo? Does that passed through your area?

A masculine guy wouldn't bother me, but I am honestly more attracted to less masculine guys.

It's not reallythat Iamhaving trouble finding guys it's that I findmyself crushing on particular straight guy. He isn't all that masculine, likely one of the reasons Ilike him.

I haven't worked up the courage to go into any gay clubs, I always find excuses. I thinkit's because I am insecure about my appearance.

[swalter]

Oh I'm sorry, I misread your previous comment.

You really should go hit up JR's. It's a very welcoming environment, and an easy bar to feel comfortable in, regardless of what "type" you are. I can empathize with your insecurity, though. I'm an introvert with more issues than Reader's Digest. I didn't come to terms with being gay until I was 35, having had struggled with women all my life. It wasn't until I forced myself to go out to the local gay bars, and made some friends, that I got comfortable with it and myself. I've never considered myself attractive. I'm on the heavier side of stocky, pale, and my two front teeth are chipped. However, I learned early on in my new gay life that there really is someone for each of us, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Neither do you.

I speak from experience when I say that things can be different, better, for you. You just have to take a chance and get out there

[hank]

Oh I'm sorry, I misread your previous comment.

You really should go hit up JR's. It's a very welcoming environment, and an easy bar to feel comfortable in, regardless of what "type" you are. I can empathize with your insecurity, though. I'm an introvert with more issues than Reader's Digest. I didn't come to terms with being gay until I was 35, having had struggled with women all my life. It wasn't until I forced myself to go out to the local gay bars, and made some friends, that I got comfortable with it and myself. I've never considered myself attractive. I'm on the heavier side of stocky, pale, and my two front teeth are chipped. However, I learned early on in my new gay life that there really is someone for each of us, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Neither do you.

I speak from experience when I say that things can be different, better, for you. You just have to take a chance and get out there

I used to drive to one of the bars here in Houston, I would sit in the parking lot in my truck just couldn't go in. Then one day I walked through the parking lot to the doors and two really young guys started flirting with me. Like really young, too young. I want discouraged I went in and had a beer and asked the bartender about the guys inthe parking lot. He told me they were prostitutes. That really ran me off . That is a temptation I worry about giving into.

[swalter]

There's always gonna be rent boys out and about. Trust your instincts... If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. But you shouldn't let that stop you. Gay bars are just like regular bars. And JR's is like the Walmart of gay bars, with a varied crowd and safe environment. Go there with the intention of having some drinks, some good conversation, and socializing. If you make a few gay friends, it will help you to broaden your experience. But again, you have to make the effort. And seriously, if I can do it, ANYONE can!

[hank]

There's always gonna be rent boys out and about. Trust your instincts... If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. But you shouldn't let that stop you. Gay bars are just like regular bars. And JR's is like the Walmart of gay bars, with a varied crowd and safe environment. Go there with the intention of having some drinks, some good conversation, and socializing. If you make a few gay friends, it will help you to broaden your experience. But again, you have to make the effort. And seriously, if I can do it, ANYONE can!

Is a bar really a good place to meet people? Any timeI have been to a bar i never talked to people other than this that I came with.

[swalter]

Gay bars, in particular, serve as socialization "hubs" for the local gay community. When a gay guy moves to a new city, the local gay bar is often one of the first places they go because they know it's the quickest, most painless way to integrate into the local community. You shouldn't think of the bar as the destination, or goal, but rather as a jump off point that will help facilitate meeting the local guys, making friends (very important), and establishing yourself in the community. All of that will improve your social life, and dating opportunities. So yes, the bars are a great way to meet people. But you've got to participate. If you sit there and don't talk to anyone, what can you expect? Have a few drinks, and strike up some conversations. It'll be whatever you make of it.